An Eye For An Eye

Soixante-Quinze

I had to eat, and I couldn’t put it off for much longer. My stomach was beginning to rumble loudly and being a werewolf didn’t mean I didn’t get hungry. It was already several hours later than I was used to eating.

Reluctantly, I left the room and headed downstairs. There was some food in the freezer that would take too long to cook and it didn’t need any preparation. The kitchen was empty, as it had been this morning. Knowing my luck, Deuc would try to talk to me again.

I headed back upstairs to wait out the time the food would take to cook but when I took the food from the oven, I could hear him behind me. I couldn’t even look at him.

“Liza, look at me.”
“How would you even know if I’m looking at you?” I asked. It was far harsher than I had meant it but I was still so angry with him.
“I can just feel it,” he said. I simply moved my food to a plate and turned to grab a knife and fork from the draw. “And I’m not completely blind, you know that.”

I sighed and stood still, staring at the food on the plate.
“How can I look at you?” I asked him quietly. “Every time I do, all I can think of is that night and Charles and his dead body. How can I look at you when all I see is that?”
“Liza please.” His hand grabbed my wrist and he turned me so I faced him. “Please, just look at me.”

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at him. He looked sad and it hurt but then all I could think of was how Charles was thrown against the tree and killed.
“I told you I loved you,” I whispered. And then the next day he had slaughtered his pack with the exception of me and Tamika. But Tamika wasn’t really an exception, he had meant to kill her too but I had convinced him out of hunting her down and killing her. “I told you I loved you and now I have nothing. I lost everything and now I’ve lost everything again but this time it’s because of you. How am I supposed to look at you?”

He sighed and then looked slightly downwards. His eyes weren’t glowing.
“I’m forming a pack of Alphas, but for it to work the Alphas need to be strong and powerful,” he said. He sounded oddly calm as he explained it. “And that meant I had to kill my pack, Ennis will do the same since he’s already agreed to join me.”
“And what about me?” I looked away for a moment but then looked back, I couldn’t keep avoiding this. We lived together and we were still technically dating. “What am I supposed to do now? Do I have to kill an Alpha or…?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. His hand moved from my wrist to my hand as he held it. “No, I couldn’t ask you to kill anyone.”

“If you’re not going to kill me and I’m not killing an Alpha, how do I fit into all of this? I’m your Beta, I don’t belong in a pack of Alphas.”
“I never really thought of you like that,” he said. I frowned, what did he mean? Did he never really think of me as his Beta? “But I have a plan. I told Ennis that you plan on killing an Alpha. You don’t have to but it wouldn’t be too difficult to make it seem like you had done it.”

“Your plan is lying to them?”
“That won’t suspect me,” said Deuc with a slight shrug. “And I can hide it.”
“But I can’t,” I said. “I don’t have an anchor yet, I still can’t control my shifting.” It was a surprise that I hadn’t shifted last night, but I think I had been more upset and in shock than angry.
“You’ll be fine.”

“And if I’m not? Or I don’t want to do it?” I asked.
“Then they’ll kill you, because I can’t,” he said honestly and I sighed, shaking my head.
“I can’t do it. I can’t fight or stay in control. I can’t do any of this,” I said. I didn’t even know if I still wanted to stay here with him. I didn’t have anywhere else to go but I was sure he wouldn’t protest too much.
“You don’t have to fight, Liza,” he said, squeezing my hand slightly. “I can’t ask that of you either.”
“It just wouldn’t work, I’d be less strong, less powerful. I’m not a killer and Ennis knows that.” And Ennis knew who I was too, an Argent.

“Please, just trust me.” His words were so softly spoken and if yesterday hadn’t happened, I would have trusted him without any second thoughts.
“How can I trust you?” And how could he speak so calmly after what he had done?
“I love you.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, don’t say that.”
“I do love you, Liza.”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me now,” I hissed, glaring at him. He could probably hear and smell the anger. “I hate you.”
“Liza-”
“No,” I said coldly, pulling my hand from his. I turned and grabbed my plate of food and pushed past him. It will be colder than I would have liked but it would still be warm.
“Liza, please.”
“I hate you!” I yelled, turning in the doorway to look at him.
“No, you don’t,” he said quietly.

I turned and started walking upstairs to the safety of the bedroom, hating that he was right as usual.

I had lost my appetite despite my empty stomach. Still, I ate anyway. I had dealt with him to get my food and that was more than enough reason for me to eat it. I left the empty plate and utensils on top of the drawers. I could take it down in the morning, I didn’t want to go downstairs and risk dealing with him again when it could be avoided.

Sighing, I sat in front of the computer and opened up an old story I had abandoned a little over a year ago. Strangely, I found the motivation to write and escape from my reality once again.