An Eye For An Eye

Vingt

Opening my eyes, the sight of a sleeping Deucalion greeted me. He looked calm and I smiled. Even though I had just woken up, there was a pit of anxiety ever deepening inside of me. Slowly, I moved to the edge of his bed and sat there for a moment. As soon as my foot touched the ground, a floorboard underneath the carpet creaked and I winced.

“What are you doing?”

I’d woken him up.

But I couldn’t answer him.

“You’re still anxious, lie back down.”

I looked over my shoulder at him, he was lying on his back with his hands clasped and resting on his bare chest. I looked to the door and then lay back down next to him. He took my hand as I stared up at the ceiling.

“Liza, have you had a breakdown before?”
“Not… not since high school,” I admitted. A bad breakup combined with dropping grades and hunter training did not create a stress-free environment. “I’m fairly sure I’m in the middle of one though.”
“Maybe,” he said.

Rolling my head to the side, I looked at him. His hair was messy but it was somewhat endearing.
“You were really scared last night,” I said. While some bits were patchy, I could generally remember what had happened and I had been acting a little weird. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright,” he said. It didn’t feel alright. “But if you need to talk to me, you can.”
“I wouldn’t even know what to talk about,” I told him. He knew everything anyway. “I mean, you were right though. Being a hunter made me unhappy. And now I’ve stopped, I’m having a breakdown because… I just don’t know what to do now. I guess I never thought I’d get this far.”

“What do you want to do?” he asked. I shrugged and shook my head.
“I don’t know.” Writing didn’t really seem like a viable career and I wasn’t very good at sticking to 9-5 jobs.
“What do you enjoy doing?”
“Writing,” I said without hesitation. I had wanted to do it for years, the ideas just… never really went anywhere. “But that doesn't pay enough to live.”

“I asked what you enjoyed, not if it pays enough,” he said. He gently squeezed my hand and I took a deep breath.
“I know, I just…” I shuffled a little closer to him, our shoulders touching. “I would like to write.”
“Then we'll make it a viable option,” he said. As if it was just that easy, I wished it was that easy. “Send your writing to agents, get you a publisher and do it that way, not just magazines.”

“Do you think I can do that?” I asked. I had turned to magazines when I had been told that my stories weren't what publishers were looking for.
“I think you can do that whatever you want to,” he said. He sighed. “I think you don't believe that you do those things.”
“I haven't managed to do it before, I've been rejected so many times.”

“Liza, can you do me a favour?” he asked suddenly as he sat up. Was he trying to change the topic? He let go of my hand and it felt weird lying down while he was sitting up. So I pushed myself up and shuffled back. He was still taller than me even while sitting down.
“What is it?” Even if he was trying to change the topic, I was curious.

“Promise me you’ll keep trying to publish your writing, it's wonderful and good,” he said. I stuttered and gave up trying to speak for a moment.
“You're biased,” I tried to argue. He was. He liked me, didn't he? And that meant he was biased. The publishers didn’t know me, they wouldn’t sit and listen to me read and hear my emotions pour out into the words.

“No, I'm honest. I will believe in you until you can believe in yourself and then I will continue believing in you, Liza.”

“Deuc…” I struggled to find words. Was that the problem? I wasn’t sure. And it hit me how close we were, almost as close as when I had first properly seen him...
“Promise me,” he said as he turned his head. His eyes were glowing, he was looking at me. I nodded.
“I promise,” I whispered and he smiled and I smiled back. “I’ll keep trying to publish my stories.”
“Good,” he said quietly as his fingers interlaced with mine.

His other hand brushed across my cheek as he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, he was still looking at me, as well as he could. My eyes drifted to his lips and my heart was racing. I twisted my body so I was facing him properly. My eyes wandered to his lips again and I somehow knew he had seen this time.

His lips were soft against mine and there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as I kissed back. Closing my eyes, I savoured every moment of it. His fingers tangled in my hair, my free hand moved to his shoulder. There was only one thought in my mind; I had wanted this for a while and now it was happening.

His hand moved to my back and he pulled me closer despite the kiss ending. My tongue ran across my lips.
“I want to do that again,” My voice was barely above a whisper. His fingers played with the hem of my nightgown.
“Kiss me.” He did not have to repeat himself as I did as he commanded. And it was as beautiful as the first time.

“I could stay here forever with you,” I said. I twisted so I could rest my head on his shoulder.
“Why do you say that?” he asked. I smiled to myself.
“Because I'd be happy,” I said. His arm wrapped around me, his hand resting on my back. “I feel safe when I'm with you, I don't feel alone.”
“I could kiss you but I don't think I'd stop,” he admitted quietly. I moved again so I was kneeling, with one knee between his legs. There was a spark ignited inside of me.
“I'm not going to stop you,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And I don't think anyone else gets an opinion on it.” He smiled as he pulled me towards him.
“No, just us.”

I smiled. There was just us.