An Eye For An Eye

Soixante-Dix-Neuf

I didn’t feel so nervous now that I had an anchor. It didn’t matter what happened tonight, I wouldn’t change. Deuc didn’t need to be there now, but despite everything, I wanted to be with him.

Though I had hoped to look at the full moon and possibly watch the moon darken slightly, it had been cloudy all day. At least it has been a little warmer than usual, despite the clouds.

“I’m glad you can stay in the same room as me again, Liza,” Deuc said quietly.
“So am I,” I admitted. “But I still don’t like what you did, I never will.”
“I don’t expect you to,” he said. “Nor do I expect you to like the Alpha pack.”
“But I still have to pretend to be one.”
“Yes,” said Deuc, nodding. “Because I want you to live. As long as they think you’re an Alpha, they won’t dare to hurt you. I wouldn’t let them anyway, but I don’t want it to start with arguing.”
“Because if I’m not an Alpha, you wouldn’t have killed all of your Betas.”
“Exactly.”

Sighing, I turned to look at him with my arms crossed.
“Does the eclipse mean it wouldn’t have been so bad?”
“Yes, an eclipse means we lose power. A total lunar eclipse basically makes us human again,” he explained. I nodded, that had always been the theory but finding a werewolf on a lunar eclipse was practically impossible. Perhaps they knew they weren’t as strong and hid from hunters more than they usually did.

The sky was still cloudy and I rested my head against his arm. After a few moments he wrapped his arm around me so my head rested against his chest instead.
“Is this the sweater I got you for your birthday?” I asked as I looked at it.
“I think so,” he said. “It feels like it, why?”
“Do you like it? Now that you’ve worn it, I mean.”
“Yes, I do like it very much,” he said with a smile. I smiled a little.

It was soft, and I was still a little proud of finding one so soft.
“It does remind me, how was your bagua?” he asked. “You practically went to bed afterwards so I forgot to ask.”
“I was so tired,” I admitted. Even the extra werewolf strength and stamina couldn’t have prepared for how much effort was put into martial arts. “It was good though, I’ll go again this week.” Mentioning that I was tired made me want to yawn.
“You enjoyed it then?” I failed at holding back the yawn as I nodded. “Still tired?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.

“Why don’t you go up and get some sleep?”
“I don’t want to,” I said stubbornly. And it definitely wasn’t because I’d had some difficulty sleeping in the days leading up to tonight. Part of me had been scared that the anchor wouldn’t work, that I'd still try to attack him, except this time I might have wanted to. “Besides, I’d have to walk.” He turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised.
“I could always carry you.” His lips turned into a slight smirk and I shook my head.
“Oh no, no, I’m fine.”

Holding back another yawn, he just laughed.
“If you say so.” He did not sound convinced.
“I never said that I wasn’t tired, just that I don't want you to carry me up to bed.”
“Of course.” He chuckled again and I frowned.
“Oh shut up,” I said, playfully pushing him. He didn’t move and he was still smiling at me. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” he said. I didn’t believe him at all. “It really is nothing, my sweet Liza.”

The last time he’d called me that was after he’d killed everyone. The times before… my cheeks flushed at the thoughts of those times.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to bed?” he asked. I turned and looked up at him. I couldn’t tell anything from the chemosignals, I almost never could with him, so I wasn’t entirely sure how he meant it.
“It doesn’t mean I’ll go to sleep,” I sighed. I closed my eyes, hoping I would fall asleep here and he just wouldn’t move me. Chances were that he’d just put me in bed and that would wake me up.

“You still need to sleep,” he said softly. He pulled me closer and it made me want to fall asleep a little more. Curse him and his soft sweaters, even though it was the one I’d bought him. His fingers played with my hair and as much as I didn’t want him to, it was strangely nice to just lie here with him despite what he’d done.

“I can’t forget what you’ve done,” I whispered. “I don’t think I’ve had many nights where I’ve slept properly since. I’ll never forget it.”
“I won’t either,” he said quietly. I opened my eyes to see him on the verge of tears. “I know what I did will help what is going to happen, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
“And what is going to happen?”
“Gerard will try to do what he did to me again,” said Deuc. “He’ll try to start a war. A pack of Alphas is a deterrent. He wouldn’t dare think of trying to attack us.”

He was still bitter, still angry. He probably would be for a long time, regardless of what I’d done to try to help.
“So Ennis agreed, who else?”
“Kali is considering it, if only because of Ennis,” he said. “Talia doesn’t know, and I intend on keeping it that way for as long as possible.” Humming, I nodded. Talia knowing would cause some issues if she knew. Understandably so.
“Do you think it will deter him?”
“Yes, I think it will.”

Part of me hoped it didn’t work, that he’d understand how pointless it had been to kill all of their friends. But somehow I doubted he would realise that, and that it would work and it would deter Gerard. At least then they wouldn’t have died in vain, or that’s what I told myself.

“Are you falling asleep?”
“No,” I said quickly. I might have been, I wasn’t entirely sure. Which probably meant I should go to bed but moving was going to take more effort than what I had. “Maybe.”
“You should go to bed.”
“It’s too much effort,” I said, stubbornly crossing my arms as I looked up at him.

Before I could protest, he’d already wrapped his other arm around me and picked me up as he stood up.
“Put me down,” I protested and he just sighed.
“I will,” he said. “In your bedroom.” I groaned and frowned at him. His glowing eyes glanced down at me before looking where he was going up the stairs.
“Deuc!”

He pushed the bedroom door open and set me down on the bed. Granted, I was far more glad for how comfortable it was compared to the couch. But I knew if I closed my eyes, I wouldn’t get much rest. There was still a small fear that I’d hurt someone, that I’d do it while half asleep, even if I did have an anchor.

“I don’t want to be alone,” I whispered as I looked up at him. He tilted his head slightly. “I’m worried I’ll hurt someone.”
“You won’t hurt anyone, Liza. You have an anchor now,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. “And even if it didn’t work, I still wouldn’t let you hurt anyone.”
“Even without that, I keep seeing them when I close my eyes.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I am.”
“I know.” I swallowed and wondered if having him with me would make me sleep any better.

“Would you stay?” I hoped I wouldn’t regret asking him. He seemed speechless for a moment, his mouth opening but no sound came out.
“Liza,” he started. “Are you sure?”
“I can’t sleep much worse,” I said with a shrug. “Please?” He shook his head a little but smiled.
“Alright. It’s hard to say no to you.”