Now or Never

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“Hold on,” Jade slurred, “Friends with benefits is basically just being a freelance girlfriend. Totally respectable.”

I laughed before taking another sip of my rum, “Is that what you tell yourself at night?”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re just mad because I’m unattached.”

“I’m unattached,” I ignored my desire to call Jason for the full duration of the bachelorette party but now, four drinks in, it was getting more difficult to lie to myself. Nonetheless, I tried.

Kitty snickered, “Bullshit. Just because y’all won’t lock it down doesn’t mean you don’t have your nails buried in each other ten ways to Sunday.”

I frowned at the alluring image.

After five hours, the other cherries had left Kitty’s apartment for a nightcap. We were left slouched over the couch with a bottle of wine being passed between Sarah and Jade.

“So,” Sarah thrummed her pink nails against the armrest, “Are you going to make a move on Adam any time soon or am I going to have to stuff you, crazy kids, in a hotel room together myself?” She stared Kitty down with little humor in her eyes.

Kitty’s eyes widened, “We work together. It wouldn’t end well.”

I raised my glass, “Smart woman.”

“At least you know he won’t shame you for our line of work,” Jade cut in.

Sarah nodded, “Or make you quit,”

“Plus,” I nudged Kitty, “You’ve already seen the goods.”

“The royal jewels,” Jade said in a faux British accent

We laughed together and finished off the bottle.

“Listen,” Kitty finally spoke up to defend herself, “It’s just been a while.”

“Yeah, that religious trauma will really make you clench.” Sarah nodded in solidarity before tapping her glass onto Kitty’s.

The alcohol buzzed inside of me; I felt warm and dizzy while trying to stay upright.

“You should say something,” I advised against my better judgment. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

The girls turned to me, “And how would you know that?” Jade raised her eyebrow.

I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt, “Common sense.”

Kitty rolled her eyes, “If I have to be honest then so do you.”

“Honestly?” I leaned forward, “It hurt to be banished from one of the only places I felt at home.”

Before they could say anything, I continued.

“It sucked. All of it. Moving away. Working in a field that I didn’t even enjoy anymore.” That I don’t want to be in. “And to top it all off, Jason was the one who sent me away.”

The girls nodded.

“And I guess I just wish I meant something to him. Like, left a trail of Cheeto dust on his heart like he did to my boobs.”

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