YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL. dave grohl (2)

008

"Goddammit, Dave! You know exactly why you left him and you told me you wouldn't!" Me and Dave were on the phone in a pretty heated argument. I hadn't yelled at him like this in forever and vice versa.

"Well excuse me for going out for 3 hours Dani! 3! Get a hold of yourself he's fine!" Dave yelled back. I hated arguing with him at 3 in the morning but he just decided to call back now and boy was he over the fucking edge with alcohol.

"He's not fine. He was worried about his dad." I calmly tried to tone it down.

"I wonder why! Maybe because your filling his head with this shit about me and how I was such a terrible boyfriend!" Dave was just getting angrier with me. I knew we shouldn't have gotten back together. This is why we broke up in the first place.

"Dave I'm tired. I don't want to deal with this now, okay? If you're just gonna be an asshole you can do it alone." I said with a really exhausting look upon my face.

"No! No, no, no. You don't get to start something and then cut it short!" Dave yelled.

"I started it?! You're the one who left my son with your sister when you told me you wouldn't leave him! Dave, you have to be a dad sometimes! A real dad!" I couldn't take it anymore. He was being ridiculous.

"Maybe I don't wanna be a fucking dad anymore!"

"What?" I began feeling sick. I would've never said that. Or thought that. Even if I was drunk.

"Dani, I'm sorry. I'm drunk right now and you know I'd give my whole world up for—" I hung up the phone. God, why did he have to do this. Why does he always have a way to lie his way out of everything and why does it work? I just want Charlie to have a good childhood and I'm fucking it up. What am I supposed to do?

The next day, Dave and Charlie came home. When they walked through the front door Charlie ran up and hugged me while Dave just stayed silent and began unpacking his stuff. He was still upset with me. But I didn't care because I was upset with him too.

"Guess what! Me and dad went swimming! At the hotel! And they had this big green slide that was really high up!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Did you go on it?" I asked with a smile.

"Mhm! Yes I did. Dad was too scared." Charlie laughed at him. Dave only stuck his tongue out at Charlie jokingly.

"Oh was he? Well that marks you the bravest kid ever." I said taking his suitcase to his room and beginning to put everything away. And I saw that he packed a photo of me him and Dave in 1992. When Charlie was one year old.

"Where'd you find this?" I asked him.

"In dads dresser. He and Jennifer got into a fight when she found it." Charlie said. Oh my god.

"What?" I asked a little confused.

"Daddy kept the photo of us in his drawer and Jennifer didn't like it." He explained. Shit, he really did that?

"Well," I changed the subject, "what do you think about playing in the snow today?" I asked him with a smile. It had just snowed the night before and I knew how much Charlie loved it.

"Yay!" He excitedly cheered giving me a hug.

"Charlie," Dave walked in, "I need you to clean up the toys in the living room okay? We're having people over tonight."

"Oh we are?" I asked him.

"Yes. It's my house. I can invite whoever I want over." He snapped at me kind of meanly.

"I wasn't even... I was just wondering." I said kind of hurt by his sudden outburst. I thought he'd let this blow over but I was wrong. He was acting like the child he is, again.

"Okay. Then we're on the same page." Dave said before leaving Charlie's room. I rolled my eyes and set his suitcase down, walking back out into the living room. I needed to talk to Dave. As much as it pained me.

"What the fuck is going on with you?" I asked lowly, "why can't you let this go?"

"Because you're ridiculous, Danielle!" Dave raised his voice.

"What did I even do?" I asked not wanting to yell at him.

"Well for one, I'm upset that you're telling Charlie how terrible I am. And second I'm sick of you trying to tell me how to parent him!" Dave finally it all out. I hated when he yelled, but he seemed to yell a lot. It was just how he showed frustration. I didn't hold it against him, but it hurt.

"I never tell Charlie you're terrible! You're full of shit, Dave! I can't believe you." I said with years beginning to spill from my eyes.

"No! You don't get to cry! I should be crying my son is slowly beginning to hate me because his mother is making him think I'm some drunk!" I was at a loss for words.

"You're so ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!" I screamed at him. I hated him right now. I hated him so much. I was beginning to regret everything, absolutely everything.

"Oh, I'm ridiculous! You're a joke! A marriage ruining joke!" Dave yelled at me.

"Dave, Charlie can hear you!" I pleaded.

"Good! He should know just how fucked up this relationship is!" He yelled before leaving me with a sick stomach and tear stained cheeks. He went outside and slammed the door shut. I began sobbing and holding my face as I sunk into the couch. This is what scared me about Dave. He always got mad about one thing and then brought up everything else. This was a toxic relationship but I didn't want to believe it was. I just wanted Dave to come back home and talk to me. But he was gonna he away for awhile he always left for some time.

"Charlie!" I called through tears. No answer.

"Charlie!" I called again a little louder. Nothing.

"Charlie Lennon if your ignoring me it's not gonna be good for you— Charlie?" He wasn't in his room. I looked in the living room, kitchen, upstairs, and outside. He wasn't anywhere. I felt sick. I felt terrified. Where was Charlie? Where was my kid?!