YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL. dave grohl (2)

003

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I muttered to myself as I threw clothes every which way trying to find something. I, more or less, wanted Jennifer to think I was overdoing it because when you overdo it you get the attention. I know it sounds bad but is it not obvious that I'm still madly in love with Dave?

I've always worn black dresses. No one likes to wear bright colors, okay. I've made it a point to buy white, black, and grey dresses only. It's my thing. It takes awhile for a lady to get ready and especially a lady who wants to win over an ex boyfriend who's now married. I was delusional. But who cares? You only live once.

"Dani," Dave opened the door once I arrived, "you look... beau— nice. You look really nice." I could hear music being played from inside I couldn't help but wonder why rock music was playing for Christmas? But it's Dave, what do you expect?

"Oh, thanks. You look very handsome as well." I decided to just go bold. I could see he was a little shocked but still taken back from the comment I'd made. I guess I had more balls than him.

"Thanks..." he trailed off as I walked into the big house. And did my eyes deceive me? Was that Chris Novoselic? Krist Novoselic? The Big Friendly Giant? Oh my fucking god.

"How's the weather up there, BFG?" I asked from behind him. He spun around in an instant with one of the biggest smiles on his face. One I hadn't seen for over 2 years. 2 fucking years.

"Danielle fucking Bailey! Bailey babe how are you?" Krist said pulling me into a hug. It was almost impossible due to his height but I made it work always. His hugs were the best.

"I'm not bad! How about yourself, how've you been?" I excitedly squealed.

"I've been okay!" Suddenly, he seemed to realize something, "wait, are you sure you wanna be here?" Krist whispered the last part in his "helping friend" voice.

"I don't know. Dave invited me and I have no idea why." I said back tugging at my dress making sure I look fine and fancy like Dave said.

"Really," Krist almost laugh, "huh, maybe something'll happen..." he nudged my side.

"Oh, stop. We are so over each other." I said sounding like I was 16 years old again. Krist just raised his eyebrows with a small laugh and put his arms around my shoulders.

"Hey, Pat. How've you been?" I asked him as Pat arrived and sat down.

"Oh, hi, Danielle. Always a pleasure." I shook his hand with a friendly smile. I nodded in response as he began doing his other things. I didn't mind, I knew Krist would stick with me all night if I needed him to.

"Dani! Hey, Dani!" I heard from over the music. It was Dave pulling along someone by the arm very harshly might I add.

"Oh shit." I muttered as Krist stayed right beside me, he knew I didn't want to face this alone again.

"I want you to meet my friend Taylor. Taylor this is Dani my, uh, friend. Charlie's mom, ya know. Whatever. And Dani this is Taylor he's the new drummer." Dave rambled on and on not knowing what to do or say. I smiled softly and took the stress of his shoulders.

"Hello, Taylor. How are you?" I asked sticking my hand out for him to shake.

"Not so bad, and yourself?"

"I'm alright." I smiled seductively at him retracting my arm and moving right back next to Krist. I felt so weird standing here. I shouldn't be here. It's like I could feel Dave looking me up and down with some sort of judgment.

"So," Taylor started with a nervous tone, "do you like the, uh, party?" I felt like I was burning up for some reason. No, Dani, don't do it. Don't make Dave jealous.

"Yeah," I raised my eyebrows ever so slightly, "do you like the party?" I asked in a smooth voice. It's like everyone went silent and just listened as we talked. Not to be conceited or anything but when I got going in my sexy voice, everyone stopped what they were doing.

"Do you want a drink, I can go get one, I was gonna go myself anyways?" Taylor asked scratching the back of his head.

"No thats okay, Taylor. Thank you." I smiled as he walked away. I then looked up to Krist who had those eyes. Those eyes that said: 'what the hell, girl?'

"Okay, then." Dave muttered to himself before facing me again. Standing next to both of them was weird, ya know? Like I was shorter than Dave, and shorter than Krist but Krist was much taller than Dave.. so it was like I was the shortest, then Dave, and Krist. The three levels. Of course when Kurt was here he made it 4 levels... but now it was left at 3. I missed when me, Dave, Krist and Kurt would hang out. It's been 3 years without him. And it never got easier.

"Okay, Chris. Can I steal Dani from you. I need to talk to her." He looked at Krist. I was fucking right here but he decided to ask Krist if he could talk to me? That was fucking weird. Krist then politely removed his arm from around me and I followed Dave into the back room and I was pulled inside a bathroom. Dave locked the door.

"Yes?" I asked with a nervous laugh.

"So you came to my party to flirt with everyone?" Dave asked seeming angry for no reason. I mentally praised myself since I'd gotten the reaction I wanted from him.

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked him with a breathless shocked laugh.

"I'm talking about you totally flirting with Taylor in front of me—"

"I can do whatever I want? I'm not yours and you're not mine. Who cares if I was flirting with Taylor in front of you? It's not like you can stop me. Why do you care so much?" I said totally taken back by Dave.

"So you can call me handsome and then flirt with someone else?" Dave sarcastically laughed.

"You're married. You call someone else beautiful, and you always flirt with Jennifer. She's your wife! I don't have a husband or a goddamn boyfriend so I can flirt with whoever! Why do you care, Dave?" I asked him once again.

"I just don't like seeing you flirt with other guys."

"Okay but it's not like we're together! You can't say that shit anymore, Dave. I thought you understood that when you married someone else. Obviously you have got some problems." I said trying to reach for the bathroom door. My wrist was grabbed and pulled away. He knew I didn't like that, too. It was the one thing, I hated that he did.

"Let go!" I said feeling breathlessly already. I wanted to cry... he didn't just grab my wrist. He didn't do the one thing he knew not to do with me.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry, Dani. I'm so—"

"Save it. You make no sense. You care too much about a girl who's gone. Who you lost. It's your goddamn anniversary. Spend it with Jennifer." I said now wanting to cry my eyes out.

"I don't want to spend it with Jennifer!" Dave said looking helpless.

"Why not? She's your wife? You married her! You can't care about me this much okay? You think I liked it when you got married the same year we split up. I was heartbroken. And Charlie knew. He knew but he didn't say anything," I felt my nose get fuzzy. It was true. Charlie spent so many nights watching me cry. I hated that I put him through that. He knew that Dave broke my heart but he never said anything about it. It hurt him too of course, but he stayed silent the whole time.

"I was depressed, Dani! Kurt had just died, I lost him and you right after! Cut me some fucking slack, I was lost. Jennifer was the only person there for me. So, I married her. Okay? I admit it, I married her because I thought it would help. It didn't. The whole time me and Jen were together, everyday you dropped Charlie off or picked Charlie up, every time we spoke on the phone, it drove me fucking crazy." I couldn't believe I was hearing this. I didn't even know what to say. But I'd have to think of something.

"Then, why. Why didn't you divorce her? Why did you drive me insane for years. We could've had it all, Dave. We could've gotten married, we could've given Charlie a better family. Why didn't you just say something, or talk to me about it? Huh? We could've skipped all this shit but you had to be so fucking afraid— " I was cut off by Daves hand sliding on either side of my face and him pushing his lips onto mine. I felt sick that I was kissing a married man but I felt the old feelings. And I didn't push away. I kissed him back.