YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL. dave grohl (2)

010

"God I can't believe I let this happen." I said still kicking myself in the ass over what happened to Charlie. I felt like a failure of a mom, and I felt like I wasn't ever gonna feel better.

"This is my fault! I shouldn't have been so full of myself, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry, Dani." Dave said with such fear in his voice. I could tell he never in his life realized he'd have to deal with the fear he'd lost his own son. Charlie was asleep in his room. That poor kid was so exhausted and I put him through all this shit. I didn't even realize he might want something else than what I was giving him. I was the worlds worst mother.

"I can't believe this," I cried into my hands, "I can't believe I let this happen." I said once again. I felt like a failure. My poor Charlie.

"Dani. We have to stop this. I can't keep yelling at you, I'm sorry when I do. I've been thinking on it and I'm so sorry." Dave said with a crack in his voice, "I love you. And this whole thing with getting back together just stressed me out. I felt like I ruined Jennifer's life. I only care about you and Charlie, I promise." Dave said holding my hands. His eyes became glossy with tears but he wasn't one to cry unless he couldn't help it in any way, "I love you both more than the world. I'd die before ever leaving you guys." Dave said.

"I love you, Dave. I always have, sometimes I wish we could just be young again, ya know?" I said thinking back on the past.

He laughed, "oh me too." I couldn't help but think about the first time we kissed. First time we moved in together. Everything. My days traveling around with Nirvana. They were amazing.

"God, I'm the worst." I said looking at Charlie's closed door.

"No! Dani, stop. It's my fault. I yelled at you, I scared, Charlie. Me!" He said looking into my eyes. I didn't say anything but just rested my head on his shoulder. Boy, I was exhausted. But I didn't want to complain because I could only imagine how Charlie felt. How I made him feel. A couple hours later. I was out in the living-room still hating myself as Charlie walked out with his eyes tired and his hair messy.

"Hey, Buddy." I whispered as Charlie didn't say a word. He just curled up next to me and snuggled into my side. I felt so much better in that moment. This is what love felt like. I was quick to put my arm around him and pulled him closer. His head rested on my chest and my head on top of his. I closed my eyes feeling my chest rise and fall. Then, a couple seconds later, another pair of strong arms were wrapped around both of us. I was so tired, that I just fell asleep holding my two favorite boys. The only people I needed in life were right beside me. That's all I could ask for, honestly.

"Dani? Honey?" I heard Dave lightly whisper to me. I hummed in response keeping my eyes closed.

"I'm sorry." He said to me.

"It's okay, Dave." I softly murmured before I just fell asleep with Charlie resting soundly next to me and Dave snuggling in closer. I wasn't mad at Dave. I was just a little upset with the situation. Sometimes I wish he'd grow up and just be a dad. But it seems like he still has that little kid demeanor which can be irritating every now and then. I know he cares about me and Charlie, sometimes he has to just grow up. And I don't want to be the one to tell him that. And as Charlie gets older, I want him and Dave to have a good relationship. I don't know if anything will work out but I hope it does.