♥𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒 ♥ {𝓜𝓲𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓵 𝓒𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓭}

im sorry..

ehe *slightly shitty drama*
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MiChAeL's PoV:

It was 2 AM right now, liv caught me with her now ex best friend... i don't even know how it got to that point... i just know while she was in cal's room i was stressing so i decided to have something to drink, 1 drink turned into 2, 2 turned to 3, 3 to 4, and so on and so forth. i was drunk off my ass waiting for her to come back from calums, and the hour and a half it took her to come back seemed to stretch on for much longer. while i waited there was a knock at the door, i figured it was one of the boys but it appeared to be livs best friend, jessica. they've been fairly close since highschool, and i think jess had always had at least a small crush on me. but honestly i never paid much attention to her because i was too involved with liv to pay attention to any other girl that wasnt my family or hers.

she explained how she was here to see liv but when i told her where she was and what had happened earlier on, her body language changed. as we talked about other things, like how my career was going and all the typical small talk, anytime i said something she would laugh like it was the funniest thing. though i had always taken her as the flirty type  so i didnt pay any mind to it. i should have, otherwise us nearly having sex wouldnt have happened and liv would be in my arms right now and she'd be sleeping while i stared at her beautiful face like i always did before i fell asleep. she always looked so perfect, so calm and at peace. i loved it.
how had i let this happen? i ran the events through my head so many times i felt like my head was spinning, but i remembered at one point i was rambling about how liv was with calum and that i was freaking out about how calum might steal her from me. the more i talked the closer she got, i didnt realize what she was doing until she kissed me. i was too busy thinking and talking about liv and what her and calum could be doing. she grabbed my hands and held them down on her hips. i didnt kiss back for a while until she let go of my hands and grabbed my face to basically force me to kiss back. i wanted it to stop but she kept forcing herself on to me. i had to talk to liv, i had to explain what happened. even if it didnt fix anything, maybe it would change her mind and she'd take me back after a bit of space.
but seeing as calum's her best friend and she's pissed off at me, she's probably in his room, and he's probably cuddling with her small body and stealing her heart away from me....

you have to try and win her back a voice in the background of my thoughts said over and over. was it even worth it? what am i thinking, she's the love of my fucking life of course she's worth it. i didn't even feel anything with jessica when we were making out. i cringed at the thought, i hated every second. but it kind of helped get my mind over how liv was with calum. though all i thought about was liv, she didnt kiss the same way liv did, she didnt make me feel the butterflies like liv did, i didnt feel any kind of spark with her like i did with liv

so then why didnt you stop kissing her? there it was again, that annoying voice. pointing out my mistakes and telling me what i should do. of course it was right. but i hurt her more than she's ever hurt me. i realized, i'm the selfish one... i told her she only ever thought about herself so many times when she shouldve been the one saying it to me. this was all my fault. if i hadnt been so jealous when she'd hangout with calum maybe this wouldnt have happened, or if i hadnt flipped out like i did when she was really just having a good time on the dance floor maybe she'd be here with me right now.
this was all my fault. i deserved to lose her. i made myself lose her.

but you need her back, you cant live without her

i really cant live without her... maybe she'd talk to me... hear me out... maybe we could fix this... i had to try at least.
i sighed and crawled out from the sheets, pulling on some sweatpants... did i need a shirt? probably... was i gonna wear one? no