Puffychu Oneshots!

Depression - Angst

Definitely not me projecting onto Niki... nope, what would give you that idea?
Tw for: Su!c!dal thoughts, thoughts of s/h

Niki curled in on herself further, sobbing in on herself. She wished she was doing something productive, something that would make all the resources her life used up worthwhile. 

She wasn't, of course. She was just a waste. A waste of space, of time, of money, life and love. That's all she was, a waste. She looked down at herself, and wondered how she could possibly feel this way, after all she had everything anyone could ever want- a loving Girlfriend, many close friends, her dream job at the local Bakery, and plenty of money to spare. 

Huh, She thought to herself. Guess I'm just selfish. After all, she had nothing to be sad about, so that had to be the answer. I would probably be better dead- No. She grabbed her arms, in a weak attempt to hold onto reality. That would make people sad- for whatever reason. I don't get why, but people would be sad. It would be selfish of me to commit. Well, I could always just do a little. There are multiple unused razor blades in the bathroom after all... No. that would be selfish as well. I can't do that. Why not? I just can't. 

Niki sighed and close her eyes, wrapping her arms around her legs, curling into the fetal position. She didn't know why she felt this way, why she was so constantly sad, but she knew she had to hide it. After all, if people found out, all the friendship they would show her would be out of pity, and she liked pretending her friends actually cared. She liked pretending she was a person worthy of friendship and affection.

Of course, Niki knew it was all a delusion, she didn't lie to herself. Pretending for small chunks of time was fun though. It almost made her forget how much she wanted to just die. How peaceful it would probably be.

Oh well, She thought, standing up. I best get on with the day. Can't have anyone finding out after all! She smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes, wiping the tears off her cheeks, and putting on glasses to hide her red and puffy eyes, brushing herself off and continuing her Sunday, nobody any the wiser.

Word Count: 371

The writer in me wanted Puffy to come comfort her, but this is projection- I have no motivation to write anything fluffy or happy right now. This is not edited, as you can probably tell, and I wasn't even originally going to post it, but I figured I might as well.

Skip the following paragraph if you want to avoid my venting:
Anyways, as you can probally tell, I've been feeling really bad the past few days, pretty much the same way Niki is feeling in the story, and since I don't have a therapist of any kind, nor am I getting one any time soon, this is both my way of venting and attempting to prove to my depression-brain that I am, in fact, being productive and am a human worth resources and love(as much as I find myself thinking I'm not)

Sorry it's been a few days, hopefully I'll have the motivation to write something more happy soon, don't forget to vote (if you want), and see you next time!