our little secret | sapnap x reader fanfiction

.10. can you keep a secret?

Nick and I walk down the stairs. The smell of pizza wafts from the kitchen.

Dream is grabbing cups for all of our drinks, and Drista already has a piece of pizza on her plate and is standing by the counter as she eats.

Clay smiles as he hands me a plate with pizza on it. "I think that was a good stream. They liked you."

I take the plate from him. "You think?"

"I'm pretty sure they like me more than you Clay," Drista says before taking a bite.

Nick puts a slice of pizza on his plate. "That might be true, Drista" he agrees, "sorry Dream,"

"What? I don't know about that," Clay shakes his head, taking a bite.

We start to talk about different things as we eat. I'm sitting next to Nick. I smile as he talks.

I know I shouldn't, but I think I definitely like him.

If only Clay would let us date.

I don't want to go behind his back because he is my best friend since we were twelve.

But at the same time, I'm my own person with my own feelings. I can have feelings for whoever I want, and if that's Nick, then Clay should be okay with that.

Nick and I are both mature people. It wouldn't have to be awkward if we break up. We could both handle it.

I don't understand why we have to listen to what Clay says. Because he's older? More famous?

Those don't give him power over us.

Why are we so worried about what Clay would think anyways? We should just do whatever. We can go on a date and live our lives just like we are now.

Honestly, why don't we just date even though Clay said we can't? He'll survive if things don't go his way one time.

We finish our dinner, and Clay leaves to take Drista home.

Nick and I clean up the plates in quiet for a little bit.

"Soo Ive been doing some thinking," I say after a while.

"That can't be good," he jokes.

I roll my eyes. "I mean about that conversation we had a while ago... about feelings."

He stops scrubbing the plates for a second. "What about it?"

"Just that..." I try to collect my thoughts completely before speaking again. "Just why do we need to follow what Clay tells us to do? Aren't we are own people?"

He turns away from the sink and towards me. "Y/n, you need to be more clear than that. What are you proposing?"

"I mean you like me and I like you," I shrug, "Why can't we try it?"

He sighs. I can tell he's seriously considering what I'm suggesting.

"Clay would.." he fades out as he notices headlights in the driveway.

Clays home.

"Upstairs?" he asks, indicating we can't have this conversation when Cay is within earshot.

I nod. I follow him upstairs.

He closes the door behind us. I get deja vu from our first conversation when I confronted him about avoiding me.

"Clay.." Sapnap says as he sits down, "Clay would be pissed. He would make us feel guilty, and that's not good for a relationship."

I nod, agreeing with his statement. I sit down next to him. "But it's also not good to not be in a relationship when you both have feelings."

"I know, but we both know we can't lose Clay." he says, sounding hopeless.

He has a point. Clay is such a big part of our lives. Leaving him for someone else would be the biggest knife in the back he could ever get. And it would be two from the both of us.

"It's just not possible if Clay knows." he continues.

It true. As long as Clay knows then we can't be together.

Who knows if it would even work out. We could go on a couple dates and realize we're better as friends.

In that case, we would have so much pressure on us even if Clay did approve. If it doesn't work, then Clay could feel awkward. We could crumble from the pressure of needing to be perfect on the first try.

It just isn't possible if Clay knows... I repeat in my head.

"Wait." I say after a second of thinking, "It wouldn't be possible if Clay knows. If he knew there was pressure for us to be automatically perfect."

I wait for him to process what I'm saying. He nods to tell me to continue.

"But what if Clay didn't know?" I grab his hand, "Think about it. If he doesn't know then we can make sure we actually work before we tell him."

He lets that sink in for a second.

We could work if Clay didn't know. We would tell him eventually, but we need to get a start without any pressure.

It could work.

"Y/n, i think I understand what you're suggesting" he says slowly, "but I need to hear exactly what you're thinking. Just to make sure we're on the same page."

I give him a smile. "Can you keep a secret, Nick?"

.author's note. 

I definitely wrote this on a bus haha

thank you guys for 3k views! 

hope everyone is enjoying! have a good day :)

.word count.. 883