our little secret | sapnap x reader fanfiction

.27. awards

I walk up to my old school. It always feels weird being back here.

I search the crowd for a tall blonde, already knowing too well that he won't be there.

"Y/N" someone shouts behind me.

I turn around to see Drista running towards me.

"Hey," I give her a hug. It feels so good to see her. "You ready for your award?"

"Of course," she smiles, "I can't wait to show off the Clay."

I laugh. I got this award when I was her age, but Clay didn't. I never let him forget that either. I always told Drista to get it too, so we can rub it into his face.

"Just like we always talked about," I sound a little sadder. I push my feelings down. I'm here for Drista. Not Clay. It's her day to shine.

Someone walks up to the podium.

"I'll see you soon!" she whispers before running off.

"Okay, don't trip!"

I go to sit next to Clay's mom. She gives me a tight squeeze when she sees me.

"We've missed you," she whispered, since the ceremony was starting.

"I've missed everyone, too." I smile.

I have no doubt in my mind that Clay told them what happened. He probably told them everything, too.

I don't think they hate me because I hid my relationship. They wouldn't have invited me here if they did.

Again, I try to push off the feelings associated with the boys. You're here for Drista.

The ceremony lasts forever. Drista didn't trip whenever she walked across the stage, and that is all that matters to us.

They invited me to eat pizza at their house, and I reluctantly accepted.

In my head, this is kind of a last hurrah with his family before Clay comes back from London.

Drista wanted to ride back with me, so she's taking a ride in my car.

"Are we going to talk about it?" she says after a while.

I sigh. I knew this conversation would come up. "We can, I guess."

"Well, they kind of told me what happened. Clay's just being a dick." she says.

"Don't use the word dick, Drista." I say, giving her a pointed look, "And Clay wasn't acting like one. He just got super upset. I understand. I lied to him."

"Well, they're still friends," she says, "how come you got the worst of it?"

I've noticed that everyone is avoiding the word Nick. I'm not sure if it bothers me or not.

For one, I'm thankful because I dont know how I'd react, but at the same time I don't want everyone to think I'm fragile. Maybe it's best to avoid it.

"You have to remember that I also got broken up with," I say, trying to smile, "sometimes it's a little different."

"Did you love him?" she asks blatantly.

"I don't know about love" I say, honestly scared of the word, "but it was something."

"I guess something is better than nothing," she shrugs. "I think you guys would've been cute." she mutters.

I pretend not to hear her.

I sit on the couch. The whole family is playing games. I decided to sit this game out. They tend to get a little competitive.

"TAKE THAT DAD" Dream's brother yells when he wins a game of uno.

"You cheated. You cheated. Show me your sleeves?" someone else questions.

"What? What the hell? Where did your cards go?"

"In the pile. I don't cheat. Never have and never will."

"You have clients."

The boy sticks his tongue out at whoever joked about it.

I smile, realizing how similar everyone in this family is. I'm pretty sure I've heard that argument before.

I look around the house. I have a memory in every single room. Pictures of Clay are hung all around.

I thought I could do it. I thought I could push him out for one day, and I could be happy for Drista.

But I can't do it.

Too many memories. Too many good emotions are associated with this house, and they're being taken away with my bad ones.

I get up from the couch and walk into the kitchen.

I sit at the table. My breathing is a little rough.

Clay. I haven't seen him in a month. I haven't talked to him in a month. I haven't even been on his twitter or youtube account. I was trying to move on.

One peek. Just to see how he's doing.

I pull up his twitter. I wonder if he face revealed. I thought he would before he went to London, so he could hang out with George.

His page loads. There's no face reveal. He only has one tweet in the past month, and it's a thank you for a subscriber count.

I google dream face reveal. A lot of blondes come up, but none of them are Clay.

Why didnt he face reveal?

The door to the kitchen swings open.

"Hey honey," Clay's mom says as she walks in, "how are you doing?"

"Honestly? Not very good."

"It's probably hard to hang out with us without him," she puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I just.." I take yet another shaky breath, "I just know it'll probably be the last one."

"How so?" she asks.

"He was so mad. I was mad. Nick..." My chest pangs at his name in my voice. "Nick and I are over. I just don't think I'll be hanging out if they're here."

"Then we'll just not invite them." She says with a shrug.

"Yeah, cause Clay definitely would allow that." I sniff.

"Maybe not." She sighs, "but they both care about you, any idiot could tell you that. I just think you guys had a falling out. What's meant to be will be. Trust me."

I smile, feeling better already. "I'm trying to move on, I promise. It's just a bad day."

"I believe you. You lost two important people." She smiles at me. I love her smile.

It's so comforting. She could tell me I have a deathly disease with that smile, and I'd feel alright.

She hits the table once quietly. "Well, I will give you a minute. I'm just going to head out there for the next game."

I smile. "Okay, I'll catch up in a second."

I sigh. I feel a little more relieved.

Clay's family still likes me. That's good.

I don't know if Clay and I will ever make up after our fight, but I also feel like we've been friends for so long that there's no way we couldn't leave each other's lives.

I'm not sure if things will go back to normal. I'm not expecting it, but I'm also not rejecting the idea.

What happens will happen.

.author's note.

can i just say- i made y/n semi reasonable in this book.. she hasn't made a bunch of totally stupid mistakes to get the plot going (yes there were a few but it's less than the others haha)

ALSO start your countdown for the SEQUEL of 'it started with a raid war'!! can't wait for you guys to read it! (next week)

have a great day! see you tomorrow!

word count: 1175