A Ray of Hope for Tenya Iida

Outside

(TW: swearing and racing thoughts) 

3rd person pov: Bakugou stood up from his seat, ignoring Kirishima's and Denki's reenactment of Thomas Sanders vines, and went out the same door as Iida had, wondering to himself what Iida might be doing at this time of day going outside. When he went out, he saw Iida sitting in a bench in the distance, so he made sure to keep hidden, like he usually did while observing any other classmate of his, such as Midoriya or Todoroki. Iida took a deep breath in and pulled out his phone, checking to see if there were any notifications on it. Of course, no one usually bothered to send the class representative anything unless they needed something from him, so his inbox was empty. "Of course," Iida muttered quietly. "Why'd I think anyone needed anything at this time? I mean, I did already get breakfast ready and I made sure to put everyone's things in their proper places last night, while they'd just left everything a mess as always." Bakugou wondered what he meant by that, the rooms were always clean whenever he got to them, so how'd it always be a mess? Didn't the extras clean up their own things before leaving for the day? Iida put his phone away and went to grab his glasses, which weren't there. "I keep forgetting I forgot them. How'd I forget my glasses? I would usually remember them, right?" 

"Something's definitely going on with four eyes," Bakugou thought to himself, "Nothing makes any fucking sense though, the bastard doesn't even do anything except for correct people, right? It's not like he's actually mothering everyone, all he does is make breakfast, and I make dinner so it's not that big a deal." He was interrupted by Iida putting his face in his hands, the way you'd typically see someone do when they're tired or stressed. He kept his eyes closed and took deep breaths before opening his eyes again, looking at something in the distance. His eyes looked distant and a bit sad, and were starting to pool with tears. "Now I KNOW there's something going on with that nerd." Bakugou concluded before heading back inside quietly. 

Iida's pov: When I stepped outside, I walked over to the bench I usually sit at when I want to think things through and sat down. I was supposed to be getting my day started, but yet here I was, moping and feeling sorry for myself as if I didn't already know this was going to happen. I knew what I was signing up for when I asked for this position, though I didn't ask directly. I knew the price and was willing to pay it, so why didn't I feel the same now? I let out a sigh, what was going on inside my head that was keeping me from being able to focus on the task at hand? What a silly question, 'what's going on inside my head'. Shouldn't I know what's going on inside my own head, or at least be able to ignore the fact that I'm this clueless? Ignore... ignore... IGNORE! I gasped. Did someone need me right then? What if someone sent me a message and I didn't realize? I checked my phone, but nothing was there. "Of course," I muttered, "Why'd I think anyone needed anything at this time? I mean, I did already get breakfast ready and I made sure to put everyone's things in their proper places last night, while they'd just left everything a mess like always." Why did I feel a bit better after saying it out loud? 

But what if someone heard me? I can't just let my own emotions be someone else's problem, they all have much more on their plates, like Midoriya's likely anxiety and self sacrificing nature puts him at risk in a variety of different ways, Uraraka's having to push herself too far in order to sustain her family, Todoroki's distrustful nature keeps him from sharing what's hurting him, Tsu's self blame, though she'll never admit it, gets the better of her at times because she feels like she should've picked up on things she couldn't be expected to notice, Bakugou's angry exterior keeps him from being able to enjoy the little things, Kirishima's doubt in himself keeps him from being truly confident, Denki's grades constantly make him feel stupid even though he's trying his best, Mina's skin color makes her stand out, but she feels stupid with it, and Sero's looks constantly get him judgement, whether it's his elbows being mocked or him being called a stoner. My problems in comparison to all that aren't so big, so why does it feel like they're towering over me? I live in a nice family with a loving mother, a kind father, and a brave older brother, I'm in the upper half of my class, I'm in class 1-A of UA, my dream school, and I've been given the honor of being class representative, so what's bothering me? Shouldn't I be one of the happiest people around here? Shouldn't my success that took my effort to get here, along with the support of those around me, make me happy?

I could feel a lump in my throat beginning to form, but I refused to cry. I put my hands on my face and closed my eyes, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. It wasn't working. All I could think about was my own self pity and how everyone else's problems were so much bigger than my own. It was pathetic, wasn't it? I was supposed to be stronger than this, the next in line in the Iida family to become a strong hero who people could depend on, not some scared little kid letting his emotions get the best of him. I opened my eyes and gazed across to a tree in the distance. It was beautiful, wasn't it? It was both beautiful and strong, something I couldn't achieve. It wasn't even training and it was stronger than I was, and I still had the audacity to continue just sitting here and get caught up in my feelings. Tears welled up in my eyes, though I tried to hold them back, and after a while, they slipped. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't stop silent tears from flowing down my face. How would the others react if they saw me like this? They'd be worried, of course, but over nothing! It would be a waste of their time to bother with me like this and once they found out that I didn't even have anything to be sad about, they'd stop bothering with me and leave me behind. 

My only problems were getting my grades higher to impress my parents and becoming as strong as I can, problems they all had too, and they didn't even seem to be bothered by it. They all could still laugh and have a good time and still get better grades than me, while I couldn't even tough it out for one time. How did they do it? It was hard enough to keep it under control when I didn't have the pressure of UA, training, and being a class representative on my back, yet they still handled all their problems with ease. Was it something wrong with me? Was my worldview flawed? Was I the problem in my own life? I tried to be great at everything, but lately I felt as though I was subpar at best, while everyone was lightyears ahead of me. I checked the time, and it seemed as though I'd been out here for twenty or so minutes. If they noticed I left by now, they must've started to get worried. I usually would get back inside by a fraction of the time I was out here. I wiped my tears off of my face, took yet another deep breath, and then went inside. I made sure to take a route most people don't usually take in order to get to my room to clean up. Once I was ready, I grabbed my glasses, finally, and went out to see Midoriya staring at me. Shit.