A Ray of Hope for Tenya Iida

Swarm

(TW: mentions of self-harm, anxiety, guilt, and eating problems)

Iida's pov- They were all walking towards me, what did I do this time? It wasn't going to be like my dream again, was it? Did I even actually wake up after that? I didn't want to know, but I felt like I was frozen in time, watching them approach me without having the strength to get up and walk away from them or leave the room. None of them were smiling, so that was good(?), and they all looked normal. I could feel all of them judging me, though, none of them were the least bit happy to see me. I didn't know what was going on. Denki was holding my apology letter and then I knew. He read it to everyone, didn't he? I didn't want them knowing yet, there were some that would try to get me to stay, and I didn't want them interfering with my departure. I didn't deserve to be here, but especially my friends would try to keep me here. I shouldn't have even gotten attached to anyone here, I suppose that was my fault. "Hello everyone! How are you all today?"

"Iida-kun, why are you trying to leave?" Uraraka sounded very upset. "We're your friends! It doesn't matter if you make mistakes as long as you try better next time and care! You don't have to leave UA!" I took a deep breath. I didn't need to get upset over this; it was natural she'd be concerned.

"Well, I feel that I gave an attempt at UA already and I blew it, for my standards at least. I'm aiming a little lower because of that, which is better for both all of you and for me." I did my best to sound sincere. "Please, don't try to convince me to stay, it's nothing against you and it's nothing against me. It's just a personal choice I've made." Aizawa looked at me.

"You're trying to leave UA?" He looked concerned. 

"Uhm... yes sir." I took another deep breath. All of this deep breathing would make me dizzy if I wasn't careful. 

"Iida, can we talk outside?"

"I'm sorry, Aizawa-sensei, but I know you're going to try to change my mind or psychoanalyze my choice, and I'd rather just have my own opinion without the combination of other's opinions weighing on my mind. Since you've given me a choice, I'm going to politely decline at this moment." I hoped that he'd just accept that as it was without bothering me anymore. My classmates were too loud, all speaking at once to try to get my attention. I couldn't make out what any single person was saying, and I felt very overwhelmed. As they surrounded me, it felt more and more like the dream. I half expected them all to join hands. 

"Take a knife and carve his arms"

It echoed in my ears, filled my mind with poisonous thoughts, all taunting and teasing me for all of my flaws. The last time I felt a sharp surface graze my skin was merely an accidental injury, nothing more. Why did that even pop into my mind again? It wasn't important. They all grew louder, I couldn't understand them still, no one made any sense. Aizawa got a bit closer, his shadow joining the others. It felt like I was being swarmed by them all, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't find a way out; I couldn't just push through them all. I understood why many people became anxious in crowds, it felt as if they were all pushing me down. 

Aoyama's pov: I knew what was happening, I tried to avoid this by writing secretive notes to Aizawa, but I suppose this kind of a world never really works out in favor of those who struggle. You would know all about that, wouldn't you? This world's been far too cruel to you, dear friend. Don't worry, darling, I won't tell anyone. Remember you're lovely and deserve the world and far much more, alright? Right, the class, back to that. They were all swarming him while I observed them from a bit of a distance. I held three fingers up, lowering one every second until I reached zero fingers. At that point, Iida stood up. 

"I apologize, everyone, but we all need to go to our seats for a proper day of learning! Please get ready for class!" He had his usual tone, but his hands stayed still, and his eyes were dull and unfocused.  Everyone hesitantly got to their seats while I stared into your lovely eyes. Class continued on, Aizawa taught the class, and everything seemed to be normal. Class changes went by, lunch came and gone, and Iida seemed to be the only person that was acting off, other than Midoriya, who was writing in a different notebook that didn't have a label. Iida didn't eat anything at lunch and kept looking on his phone or writing on various non-school related papers. He hadn't had breakfast either, I assumed, plus he didn't eat dinner yesterday. When was the last time he'd even eaten? What were we all going to do now that he was trying to leave the class? Did his parents even approve of him going to this new school? Did his parents know about his behavior today in class? There were so many things I didn't know, so many different things that could be very important to know. 

Speaking of valuable information, I saw someone outside of UA yesterday that I didn't recognize. It might've been a classmate for all I know, but they left UA earlier in the night and returned much later. Was this something I was supposed to tell Aizawa? What if that was Iida? Thinking on it, it was him. I mean, that body shape with that fashion sense, as well as that specific suit and hat was far too familiar for it to be a coincidence. I was so telling Aizawa once the school day was over. I pulled out my sparkly pen and my notepad, then started writing. Iida looked over at me, staring into my soul. He had a face of recognition, then he stood up and pointed at me. 

"It was you! You were spying on me and writing about it!" I couldn't help but laugh, it was hilarious. 

"It took you that long? Class rep, you usually do better than that." I smiled at him. After a bit, I sighed, satisfied with my small amount of teasing. "I'm just teasing, don't worry. Yes, it was me, but don't cause a scene just because you've made a realization." His cheeks went pink from embarrassment, and it looked as though the weight of the entire galaxy had just rested upon him. He sat down, clutching onto his seat, out of most of the others' view. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings; it was a shame that it was so difficult to bring his spirits up. Maybe you can bring his spirits up? It might help a bit! After all, someone as lovely as you likely has the capability to make anyone's day better.