A Ray of Hope for Tenya Iida

Shame

(AN: this one was really exciting for me! I brainstormed this with my friend @ImGaYPeRiOdAnnA. Shoutout to you, buddy! :D Go follow them please lol)

(TW: Nausea and throwing up, mentions of alcohol use and smoking, swearing, anxiety in social situations, panic, mentions of death, suicidal ideation, family problems, mentions of bad choices, descriptions of hangover, attachment issues, and light medical problems)

Iida's pov: I woke up in my dorm room with a massive headache, nausea, and a foggy memory. How on earth did I get here? Where was my tie? Why was I in bed? Last I remembered, I walked into that party, I think. Maybe I turned back instead and went to bed? I felt even more sick, so I ran to the bathroom and threw up. It smelled like alcohol, which was odd because I didn't remember ingesting any alcohol. My lungs burned a bit, probably from all of the smoking, but I also had a stitch in my side, as if I'd been moving around too much while unprepared for exercise. I felt weak and shaky, the room was spinning around me, and I had almost zero idea what was going on. I needed to get some water, but I didn't want to move because of everything I was feeling. When I did try to move, I started to have heart palpitations and the headache got worse. It took two more tries before I got up, flushed the toilet to get rid of whatever had been left in my stomach before, and grabbed a water bottle. I took a few sips, trying not to overdo it and make myself sicker, but I could feel my body yearning for more. I laid back in bed and checked my phone. There were multiple phone numbers in my contacts that I didn't know what to think of. "My New Bae", "Total Hottie", and "Lovely Motherfucker" were the most notable. Why would I put them as that in my contacts? I have no way to know who these people are, either. I didn't even know I ​​​​​​​could ​​​​​​​be attracted to people in general, let alone think of people in this light. Maybe they just put themselves in my phone and labelled themselves as that, that sounded more logical. 

There was a knock on my door, which scared me out of my mind. Who would be knocking on my door at such a late- I mean early, as it was 4 am now that I looked at the clock, time of day? I brushed my hair quickly, trying to make myself look as presentable as possible despite the fact that I looked like I got lost in the woods and then met a very aggressive bear. To buy myself some time, I quickly asked loudly, "who is it?"

"It's your teachers, we need to talk to you about something." Aizawa sensei's voice was a bit muffled through my door. 

"Oh, what is it about? Grades?" I needed more time; I was getting my outfit straightened up and trying to make the alcohol smell disappear from my clothing. 

"No, that's not it, your grades are fine." The smell had faded under my fragrance, which I only kept to disguise odd smells from hero work or practice, so I had to tie my tie, which had become untied. That should become a tongue twister. Iida, focus! That was unlike me.

"Well, is it about the fact that I'm planning to leave UA?" I finished tying it, so I combed through my hair again, but it was being more stubborn than usual. I put on my glasses at the same time, which was no easy task to figure out how to do. "If it's about that, please don't try to persuade me to stay. I know you need students, but Shinsou's a great candidate for this and he deserves to be in the hero course. Besides, I've already chosen a nice school that will suit me better."

"Wait, he's planning on leaving UA?" I could hear Present Mic whisper.

"That's the least of our worries, Mic, calm down." Aizawa sensei quietly mumbled back. They thought I couldn't hear them. It just gave me more time, so I didn't care. I was almost ready, I just had to practice looking normal in the mirror for a little while longer. I didn't want them to think I felt this sick. "No, problem child, it's not that either, though we might be talking about that later since I know that's not the only reason you're trying to leave. But that's not the point, we need to talk about how you're doing." How I'm doing? That didn't make any sense, I was acting just fine, wasn't I?