MAE DAY (Book 1 COMPLETE) (Book 2 in progress on Wattpad)

Chapter 45 MAE DAY

I stripped her down as I ran the bath. She knew what I was doing and lay still, happy to be free from all the mess.

"Urrrr," she said pulling a face.

"Yeah you poor thing," I said but soon had to rush her bum to the toilet as a tiny warning fart was enough of incentive for me to hold her.

She screamed.

"Ooooo whose a big girl using the toilet like Suri," I said and she stopped, gave me a thoughtful face and then pushed causing another explosion. God it was toxic! My eyes were watering, nose and throat burning.

Half a tonne of loo roll used as I stood her in the sink to removed the brown icky stuff from her legs, fairy, bum and half way up her torso. She couldn't got in the bath like that.

"What the hell have they been feeding you?" I asked as I took her over to the bath to watch it run.

"Dada baf!" she yelled excited as she stood watching the bubbles.

I could hear Conrad "You're obviously not as sexy as you think. You should have checked your breath and armpits as girls don't like smelly boys and you stink."

"I am covered in Willow excrement because of you!" Lee yelled.

"She obviously wasn't that into you," Conrad teased. "Being banished to that other realm until your mother had the baby has made you soft. You would have banged the arse of her before that, you were a total man whore."

"Will you stop talking smutty about me and my wife or I will tell yours!" Lee threatened.

"Good luck with that... you dare ring her! Put that down!" Conrad yelled.

"Hi Nula, yeah fine thank you. Well, I say fine but your husband was supposed to baby sit the twins whilst I had a romantic weekend with my wife..."

"He's been acting gay!" Conrad called.

"... He turned up with a poo covered Willow, retching everywhere because he wouldn't change her nappy and then she puked all over me. Needless to say that along with your husbands gift for being overly crude and insensitive, I am not getting any tonight and my weekend is ruined."

"It's lies, all lies," Conrad yelled.

"Yeah sure here he is."

"Hi honey... mmm.... ermm... what, no way...please don't make me do that," Conrad begged his wife. "He's been with her hours, apparently he's romancing her. God how human!"

"Da Daaaaaaa!" Willow yelled and bounced up and down. Blimey they were some lungs!

"I'm coming," he yelled. "Enjoy your pussy whipped phone call," he said to Conrad before appearing in the doorway looking sorry for himself.

"Come on your next," I said starting to undo his shirt buttons.

"Ohhh man this was so 'not' how I envisaged you taking my clothes off," he complained. "I HATE YOU!" he yelled back into the front room.

"Don't pay any attention to him, I am totally in to you and I loved the romance," I said and sneaking a kiss as I continued to undo his shirt.

"Can I have a bowl of this soup?" Conrad called back.

Willow rushed past me as I undid the last button. I turned to see where she ran.

"Nooooo back away poo features!" Conrad yelled.

"My din din," she yelled.

"Please tell me you fed the children," Lee replied.

"They were playing," Conrad replied.

"You have ten children, how can you not know this stuff?" Lee asked as I thought 'ten'!

"Because my wife does all that stuff, I just make them... well I did until you told my wife I wouldn't change a nappy and she has put me on nappy duty! Now come and get her I can see her nuddie bits and she's either trying to get me to pick her up or humping my leg," he said making me laugh.

"Willow bath first baba," Lee called. "Conrad check on Bay!"

"Bossy bloody lion!" Conrad mumbled. "Oh my god I think I have a bit of poo on my leg.... ahhhhhh I do. Willow you tramp! Learn some bum control."

"Serves you right!" Lee called back.

"Where is Suri?" I asked as I turned the bath off.

"I believe you call it Harry Pottering," Lee said smiling.

"Witching School," I replied.

"Uh huh," he said catching Willow who ran back in, kicked her legs about to get free. "Come on splish splash time."

He checked the water even though I had done it, which I thought was sweet, double checking she would not get burnt. He put her in and she played with the aerosol lids I had put in there as I had no kids toys. She happily poured the water out of each as Lee went to fetch her a towel from my room and take his bottoms off... grrrr I had plans for those trousers myself which included using teeth!

"He was asleep but the minute I peeked over the cot he woke up. It was freaky. I don't think I like these two very much. They are weird," Conrad said arriving with a tired and half asleep Bay.

"Mumma," Bay said and put his arms out. He recognised me. That was it, water works central. I took him off Conrad and cuddled him to me as he cried and hugged me back.

"Poo fumes are making my eyes water," Conrad said leaving the room as he got teary at the reunion. I stroked Bay's hair and kissed his face, there was so much more face to kiss. He was heavy too.

"Where mummy go?" he asked me and I realised I didn't have an answer. I loved his little voice!

"I see you've found your mummy," Lee said in the door.

"There she is," Bay said in a sing song voice as he pointed at me.

"What are you wearing?" I asked Lee giggling.

"Your dressing gown. I planned on being naked with you all weekend so I didn't bring a change of clothes," he said grinning sheepishly.

"Did you now?" I replied fighting uselessly against a huge smile.

"It's ruined now but I can still go for the next best thing, you have been naked in this a short time ago and now I am naked in it," he said making me laugh as he rubbed his hands all over it.

"How long do I heat this soup for?" Conrad yelled.

"Aaaaa," Bay squealed and wiggled out of my arms to toddle off.

"Food?" I asked Lee.

"Yep," he replied and lifted Willow who was trying to clamber out of the bath to follow. "Wait," he said giving her a quick rub over with the sponge to get all the poo bits off. She still tried to clamber out and ending up hanging over his arm and squealing as he gave her a good clean.

I held out the towel as he passed her to me but I lost her and she ran off naked shouting 'meeee' and Conrad shouted 'urgh naked girl babies'.

"They can be a nightmare to feed so be careful whilst I have a shower... without you. I am so pissed off with him!" Lee said making me giggle and at the same time want to kill Conrad with my bare hands.

"I best get this top off, I am covered too," I started to undo the buttons. Lee's fingers reached over flicking mine out of the way. His mouth on mine as he undid my bottons and slipped a hand over my breast.

"Finally second base," Conrad yelled. "I'll make you a badge!"

We stopped as Lee fought the urge to kill him and I wondered how the hell he knew.

"Are you ok looking after the kids and Conrad whilst I have a COLD shower?" Lee asked.

"Yes," I said laughing and stealing on last kiss before rushing off to change my top and sort the kids out.