MAE DAY (Book 1 COMPLETE) (Book 2 in progress on Wattpad)

Chapter 4 - MAE DAY

Next time I woke I was alone. I heard one of the babies make a noise. I rushed to my feet and hurried over. Bay was trying his best to cry. Instead he was pulling the saddest face and had no strength to muster another whimper. I rushed to wash my hand like a woman possessed and hurried back over, germ free. I opened a hole in the incubator and put my hand on his back and another through to stroke his head through his little blue knitted hat. I decided to check his nappy as it was loose and there was a definite whiff coming out of the incubator. Yep he had made a mess, a runny mess and was trapped in there with the smell.

"Don't worry Bay, auntie Mae will clean you up," I whispered reassuringly. I paused for a second, I had a weird feeling, I couldn't put my finger on it but Bay felt different. I took my hand out of the incubator and smelt it, it was a weird thing to do but I did it without realising, he smelt different.

"Hello," I called out to see if anyone could hear me so I didn't have to leave him.

Lee's father opened the door with a phone to his ear and gave me the 'what's up' look.

"I know it sounds weird and I am no expert but Bay smells different, he feels different and I think he has the runs," I said quietly trying not to panic or speak to loud in front of the babies.

His grandfather cut off his phone call and re-entered the room, washing his hands as he stared at me and Bay, he seemed concerned but in a medical way and I felt that although I was no expert he was trusting my instincts. I just hoped they were right... or maybe wrong, as if I was right, Bay was very poorly again.

He rubbed his hands together before putting them into the incubator and peeling back the nappy. He pressed gently on Bay's swollen tummy and watched his grandson try to cry.

"Shh, it's ok baby," I said stroking his hair as his grandfather carried out his examination. He reached over and pressed the nurse button. The room filled quite quickly and I stood back, reluctant to let Bay go but he needed help and I couldn't do it. His grandfather stepped back too but observed the doctors and nurses with scrutiny and call out commands occasionally.

Willow was also being checked and she was not happy to be moved. The machines were bleeping and as I stood watching I felt an arm go around me and turned to see their grandmother. She was sobbing, I reached out to comfort her as I stared through my own tears and kicked myself for getting my hopes up yesterday. I could see they were putting Willow back on a ventilator and Bay was back to a mass of wire too. He was trying to cry again and I wanted to shoo them all away and scoop him up to cuddle him and tell him it was ok. Rock him to sleep with a lullaby and feathered kisses just like all babies should.

Lee rushed into the room, where he had been I had no idea but he rushed over to his father and looked at Bay with concern. He did what I wanted, he reached his hand through the one vacant hole and soothed him. For a moment it look as though Bay reached out to him but it was a reflex as his arms flayed out. I wondered for a moment if he had washed his hands before touching him but remembered that he always did it before entering the room and last night he only washed them again as he stole my tea and toast.

"Would mum like to come over?" a doctor asked and I looked around for my sister momentarily confused and in the stress of the situation I forgot she was... gone. I hated the word dead it sounded so final and I didn't want to think of my sister as that. I wanted to think of her as 'gone'. I could cope with 'gone', just about... Dead, I couldn't cope with.

"Their aunt has been watching over them," a nurse added for me and I was pulled over by the elbow to Willow. "She just needs a bit of comfort," the nurse said and allowed me to put my hands in.

I placed my hand on her gently, I stroked her, patted her with featherlike reassurance which she seemed to like best. I held her feet in one hand and she seemed to settle down more as I held them and patted her chest gently.