Chapter 52 MAE DAY

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I was stunned, and not only by his outburst but by my own. I knew he hadn't done anything, I knew he would never cheat on me and there was a good explanation but because I was feeling deprived I hit out at him and that was totally unfair. He was right to have a go at me and as I sat on the bed trying to compose myself, I realised that had he 'not' yelled at me, the chances were I might have hit out at him again in the future. Now he had defended himself and told me what was not acceptable in our relationship, the chance of that happening were far less as I would not want to hurt his feelings or sully our marriage. Enough people were trying to do that. He was right I owed him an apology.

I stood up and made my way down stairs to face the music. When I entered the front room Lee was sat on the sofa with Suri in his arms just as he had before she went to sleep. Everyone else was gone and Lee didn't even acknowledge me.

"In here," his mother whispered. I walked into the kitchen. "All must be the same as before," she whispered.

"Is she ok?" I mouthed back.

She smiled and nodded. "They are both need rest."

"You're baby is gorgeous," I said trying to change the subject to normal conversation in case Suri woke.

"She is," she replied grinning from ear to ear. "She is very much like her brothers were at her age."

I could see her eyes fill with tears and knew she was thinking about Glenn. I reached out and gave her a hug. She hugged me back so I held her tighter.

"Did you know that when I fell off the balcony at the wedding, I think I saw April and Glenn," I told her.

"Really?" she asked, looking at me and wiping away a few stray tears.

"Yeah, I thought someone would have told you. I may have imagined it, I don't know."

"What did you see?"

"It's not very clear now but they appeared at my side like any other wedding guest and I didn't realise at the time but I think they were wearing their own wedding outfits. They looked happy, they kept telling me to get up and Glenn kept saying don't be scared. My sister cradled this glowing light in her hand and they seemed to fall in love with it and coo'd it. My sister said my wedding was shit," I laughed. "It was, but somethings can't be changed. She said shall we dance at your wedding Mae, they did and all the while they looked into her hands, fascinated. Glenn told me not to be scared again and gave me a message for Lee. I can't remember it now but it was something to do with a chicken. He turned into a lion and I wasn't as scared of him. My sister gave him a sloppy kiss and called him a sexy beast."

His mother laughed.

"She also made a joke about the size of his tail and... well you know," I said nodding down towards her waist. "They walked off and all I could say when waking up was 'panic at the disco' I don't know why."

She gasped.

"I don't know if it was my imagination but that is what I saw and since that day, I've wanted out of this life and to go join them. I want to be with my sister and I think the glow in her hand was my baby."

She nodded.

"Oh I remember the chicken thing was something to do with lemons," I said as the vague memory became a little more clear.

She smiled through her tears.

"The chicken and lemon is from when they were little boys. They were convinced that chickens laid lemons as well as eggs and no matter how often we told them no. They insisted. It was only one evening at dinner when I was cutting the chicken that their father realised why they were so adamant. I was because when I make lemon chicken I pierce one and put it up inside the chicken."

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