The Pain Was Best

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I miss your kerosene scent,
The fire burning in my hand,
I miss the harsh slaps,
The no back talk, the slack.

I miss the punishment,
I miss the pain,
I fooled myself,
Thinking I wanted something new.

Now I'm in the warm blanket,
Cuddled in,
I have romantic love,
But I don't have you,

I don't have your pressure on my neck,
I don't have hard grips,
The loud shouts,
I don't have you.

I thought romance was what I wanted,
But I want you,
I thought pain-free was what was best,
But I don't feel you.

I miss the threats,
The heavy iron on my lips,
I miss cold rain, the wet snow,
I'm missing you.

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