Blank Stars

chapter 11

I felt my body being led along a road but I wasn’t really sure where we were going.

“Hey Kyte, you back with us?”

“Yeah” 

My voice was weak and I noticed the drastic change from how I had been just that morning. Why had my day been ruined? All because of nudging someone with my elbow?

“I’m taking you over to mine just now ok?”

I nodded without speaking, feeling pathetic and defenceless. At least I would get to reach my original destination, and maybe it’s a good thing that I was stalled because for whatever reason Alec had been out and I probably would have missed him anyway.

He led us down a couple of streets before he stopped; I heard a jingling and looked up at Alec’s front door. He opened the door and held my hand as I made my way into the hall. He turned me slightly, tilting my head so that I was forced to look him in the eyes.

“Kyte, do you want to go for a shower or do you want me to call Sophia over?”

I looked at him dazed for a moment, before mumbling my answer,

“Can I take a shower please?”

He nodded and gave me a hug before helping me up the stairs, I felt a little out of it. As if I wasn’t completely there, I could see what was in front of me; Alec, Stairs, Walls, my hand, his. But I seemed unable to process any of it. We reached the top floor and he led me to the bathroom, he opened the door for me.

“There’s towels there, I’ll call Sophia and get her to bring over a set of clothes. I’ll leave something outside that might fit you in the meantime.”

He looked to me and then away again, he hesitantly returned his attention back to me.

“What were you doing out alone? I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be on your own.”

I gulped back my worries and went to face my toughest challenge yet.

“I was coming to see you…”

He looked at me confused, then the phone went off and he looked at me apologetically before rushing off to answer the phone. I sighed and closed the door, this was probably for the best; at least now I had time to think about how I could explain myself to him. I sighed to myself again, I could hear Alec talking to someone on the phone next door. He finished talking and I heard the sound of the phone turning off. I quickly ran over to the shower and switched the water on as I heard him knock on the door. I stood silent for a moment, hoping that he’d just leave which he did quickly. I stripped and left the filthy clothes, which had been so beautiful that morning, in a pile on the floor. I lifted a towel from the rack and placed it on the sink next to the shower.

I stepped under the torrent of warm water, allowing it to dissolve my issues under its hazy spray. What would I tell Alec? He’s probably figured out that I was coming to see him about the way I’d acted before, but how could I explain that to him. I mean, he had confessed to me and I had… I don’t know what I’d done. That wasn’t me. I felt the dirt being washed from me for the second time today I felt satisfactorily clean. I stepped out of the shower, pulling the towel around me as I turned off the water.

I opened the door and saw the pile of clothes that had been left for me. I lifted up the shirt and recognized it straight away; it was one of his old ones from years ago, he used to always wear it, back when he had been the same size as me. Well he had always been bigger than me but this was closer to my current size. I slipped the shirt over me and laughed to myself as it sat loosely over my frame, even his old stuff was too big for me. I slipped on the pair of joggy bottoms that were with the shirt. I let out a groan as I found myself having to tie it at my waist to stop them from falling down. I sighed and towel dried my hair before opening the door in search of Alec ready to confront him.