bonkers

13 | deez nuts

anything with an indent is spoken in teyvat language

anything with normal font is spoken in english

-

"RISE AND SHINE LOVEBIRDS!~" venti sing songed as he barged into y/n's bedroom without any warning. xiao, who stayed awake the whole night, looked towards the bard with a death stare, signalling for the archon to shut up and leave.

venti 'tsked' and proceeded to walk towards the bed to flick xiao's forehead. "it's 12pm! everyone hasn't eaten yet because we don't know how to cook!"

the adeptus paid no attention to the stinging feeling on his forehead, though he grunted at the sudden contact. "okay...? can't you just wait for y/n to wake up...?"

"it's noon already~" venti hummed. "half of the day has already been spent sleeping~"

kazuha stirred around on the bed, slightly waking himself up due to the two talking. after covering his mouth whilst yawning, the turned his head to face the other anemo users that were bickering.

"why are you guys bickering...?" the white haired boy asked while lightly stretching. venti turned towards kazuha, who had woken up in a slight daze.

"it's afternoon, silly! how long were you all up for last night?~"

"we didn't do anything inappropriate." xiao deadpanned as he continued to gaze at y/n's sleeping figure. kazuha's eyes widened as soon as he processed xiao had said.

venti giggled at xiao's response. "that's not what i meant, but whatever you say ehe!~"

"oh i'll give you something to ehe about you little-"

"um... guys?" y/n said out of nowhere, suddenly hissing as the afternoon sunlight stunned their eyes. immediately three heads turned towards the house owner; who was confused on what was happening. "what's happening in my room?"

"nothing!" venti answered with a mischievous grin. he then dramatically fell onto the floor whilst clutching his stomach. "we're hungry though, please cook us some food~"

xiao rolled his eyes at the anemo archon, while y/n tiredly quirked an eyebrow at him. soon after, a chorus of rumbling stomachs ricocheted across the house, followed by a series of audible groans (mostly whines coming from klee) coming from the kitchen.

y/n rapidly blinked their eyes to bring back their vision before letting out a tired groan. "ugh fine, someone get me my phone i'll order something-"

"-i'm already one step ahead of ya pal!" venti exclaimed loudly, earning a pillow to the face by none other than the house owner.

"watch it buddy, you're on thin ice now."

•

one hour later . . .

"hmmmmmmmm..." venti sounded out as he inspected the cup of bubble tea in his hand. next to the boy sat ayaka-- who was bubbling with delight as she sipped her taro milk tea.

"wahhh this is so good~" the cryo user chirped before continuing to chew on more tapioca pearls. venti quietly observed the girl, suddenly becoming intrigued by the drink.

ayaka glanced up at the boy with doe eyes and puffy cheeks from sucking up more of the pearls. "are you goin' to drink yours?" she asked with a stuffed mouth.

the short boy gave ayaka a questionable look, which caused the girl to flush in embarrassment. "m-my apologies! i don't mean to be so immature whilst eating..."

the bard hummed in response; he didn't really mind the messy eating etiquette. "it's okay! i was just wondering if these drinks were tasty-"

"-they're soo good!" the girl exclaimed as she clasped her hands with joy. "y/n's world is filled with such wonderful food~"

"huh, then i suppose i'll drink it then if it's good..." venti thought out loud. as sipped his drink the boy began to violently choke— unaware of how deadly tapioca pearls were if one drank bubble tea too quick without swallowing

ayaka's eyes widened with panic before immediately whacking venti's back to ease the pain. venti groaned at the amount of pain he was going through, whilst everyone (read: y/n, ei, xiao, kazuha and zhongli) looked at the two with unfazed faces.

y/n snickered from across the kitchen. "that's what you get chewing boba deez nuts too quickly—"

"what?"

-

sorry deez nuts jokes still make me laugh