bible of jokes

jokes 2

. Q: Why do they call it PMS? A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!

Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frogs finger 

Q: What's a porn star's favorite drink? A: 7 Up in cider.

Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns

Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys? A: Steve Nash.

Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because their plugged into a genius!

Q: What do you call an artist with a brown finger? A: Piccassole

Q: Did you guys hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili? A: I guess he liked seasoned professionals.

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering A minor.

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...? A: "Is it in?

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: Why don't black people go on cruises? A: They already fell for that trick once.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: Half a dog! Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on

Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

Q: What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A: A little get together.

Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.? A: E.T. eventually went home!

Q: Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A: Because the 'p' is silent

Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis

Q: What’s the difference between being hungry and horny? A: Where you put the cucumber.

What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?

Q: What did One gay sperm say to another? A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

Q: Did you hear about the celebrity murderer? A: He was shooting for the stars.

Q: What do girls and noodles have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet? A: Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?