underneath their surface - marina

12

A few minutes later I reached the station...

When Carina entered the station it was oddly quiet, normally you could hear people chat in the beanary or hear some muffled noises from the TV room. Right now though, absolute silence.

"Can I help you?" A woman asked, making Carina turn around as she was already trying to look if Maya was in her office but the blinds were closed.

"Ciao, uhm Where is M- Captain Bishop?" she asked, giving the woman a polite smile.

She read Herrera on her name tag and new Andy was talking to her despite the fact that she hasn't introduced herself to the italian.

She thought the woman seemed nice, but she had different priorities than thinking about this topic.

"She went to the roof I guess... I can come get her, do you need help?" She asked, figuring out why the brunette needed help from their captain.

"No, I'm sorry I should have introduced myself, Dr. Carina Deluca, Grey Sloan. Mayas friend."

"Ohh... you helped delivering the baby during the blizzard right?" She asked her with a small smile, as she recognized who the person was. Now it made much more sense that she wanted to see Maya.

"Si, I did." She stated, fiddeling with her fingers as she became a little inpatient, just wanting to make sure her girl would be okay.

Andy seemed to notice and asked Carina to follow her.

"Ben told me what happened..." She informed the latina who nodded already guessing that.

"I'm sorry...My condolences..."  She added...

"Thank you..." She said, forcing out a smile.

mayas pov

I went to the roof, I needed some air. I knew most of my team went into their bunks sleeping or resting. But I could definitely not to this right now. I couldn't rest knwoing someone of my team literally died because of me.

As I opened the door I noticed how cold it had gotten, I still was only wearing my station shirt. I walked closer to the edge of the roof looking at the horizon which had it's usual light sparkling.

I felt a pressure inside of me building up which I didn't knew how to release. I thought about working out... But at the same time I felt like my body went numb and like I couldn't move...

My head was spinning with guilt that I made that happen, that I put Rigo in this position... My gaze fixated on the one visible cloud that the moon was shining onto. I knew Rigo was in them now.

That's what happens when you die, you get carried into the clouds... 

Within the guilt I felt jealousy creeping inside of me as I thought about the peace Rigo had right now... that he could rest in peace and I felt like my whole mind was going to explode but I couldn't move... I couldn't even find the energy to move, to go home.

Being on this rooftop somehow helped me feel closer to the clouds I wanted to be near so desperately right now.

Suddenly I heard a voice.

I flinched, as I was completely zooned out of my surroundings, turning to where the sound came from. Then I saw Carina aproaching me...

"Bambina..." She whispered, suddenly standing next to me.