underneath their surface - marina

14

- trigger warning suicidal thoughts -

She knew this was gonna be a long day...

"Critical incident stress debriefing" Maya called out after calling her team to the beanery their shift had just ended, and everyone wanted to go home. It was a long day and clearly everyone was still exhausted from the tragedy that had happened not only two days ago.

"I'm too tired" "I wanna go home to my wife and kids." Jack and Ben complained.

Maya sat next to Andy, taking a deep breath, she knew this wasn't something her team enjoyed, yet she needed it had to be done.

"This isn't my call, this is from above..." Maya tried to explain. "But even if it was my call, I wouldn't let you leave, Vasquez was on our team." She explained with a raised voice, her nerves agitated because of the forthcoming visit from Dr. Lewis.

Nobody was thrilled to be there, yet they obeyed and stayed at the gym, since B-Shift was using the kitchen and weren't not to speak well of the A-shift right now for obvious reasons.

Maya quickly apologized for this unusual setting and offered the psychologist a room she could use.

Then, she returned to her office, to finish some administrative work...

Carinas pov

I went home, starting to cook, it was something I did. I needed to distract myself from everything that was going on around me. Cooking was something that helped me to find a focus again, to stay calm during this crazy time right now.

I went to my bookshelf in the living room, pulling out an old book, damaged with scratches. It was a recipe book her mom had written. Even including the really old traditional stuff from her 'Nonna'. She decided for one of her favorite meals: Pasta al Pomodoro.

I hoped Maya decided to text telling me to come over. I could only imagine what the blonde was going through. And in my opinion food always was something comforting. Especially because it reminded me of my home. It reminded me of my childhood and the good moments with my family.

I wallowed in memories while I flicked through the small notebook to find the recipe, I knew it by heart, yet I wanted to use the book, one of the view things my mom left behind for me. Just for me. Because I was the one helping her in the kitchen since I was very little. She told me, that when she moved to Wisconsin with Andrea they didn't do that, they didn't cook together. It was only a thing between me and her.

Before things turned, before my Papa changed, before things went down...

As I found it, I put my finger in between the pages, going into the kitchen again. I started to put the chop the tomatoes for the sauce. The rhythmic activity slowly calming me down.

Mayas pov

I read through my reports one last time, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. Diane came in and I figured she had talked to my whole team by now. I'm sure it had gotten late; I forgot the time as I was busy with work.

"So, lay it on me Dr. Lewis, how are we doing, as a house?" I asked her expectantly.

"I'm not looking for any confidential information. I just want to know how everyone is taking Rigo." I added, not wanting to seem nosy. I wasn't I just really wanted to know how everyone was doing after I... did this.

"How are you taking Rigo?" Dr. Lewis asked. I was a little taken aback by her question, I assumed she would just answer mine and that's it. But asking questions must be a therapist thing, I thought.