more than bestfriends

23

-y/n

i was awoken from a few settle knocks on my door. i was up crying all last night and i didn't even remember going to sleep. i told myself that im gonna tell jackson everything and break up with him.

" hey y/n you awake?" i hear a voice behind the door. " yeah come in" i answer. the door opens slowly and just as i know it jackson comes into view.

" sorry if i woke you up , but i wanted to talk to you about something before everyone woke up." he sounds serious.

i scoot over on the bed leaving room for him to come and sit down. he walks over and sits on the bed next to me. he grabs my hands and holds onto it. i know where this is going.

" so um before  we started dating something told me that you weren't being fully honest but i didnt know what it is. when we first got here i finally put my finger on it. i haven't been totally honest woth you either. the little time that i would spend with vic made me realize that we have more in common than you and i ever did."

wait? what?

" we would talk about all these things and we just clicked together. i gained feelings for her but i haven't said anything because i didnt want to hurt you."

" does she feel the same way about you?" i ask quietly. i have had enough of crying that no more tears can come out. " i dont want to answer tha-"

" does she or not?"

" yeah she planned on telling mattia yesterday but he ran off to find you and she didn't want to ruin the day for him." he explains to me. this isn't making any sense to me , but that still doesn't matter.
i have to tell him the truth.

" ok youve said enough, its my turn. before we dated , mattia told me he was inlove with me. i freaked out and didn't know what to do because he was talking to vic. i became distant from him when he ignored the fact that i was trying to tell him. thats when we started dating , but when we got we kissed twice. i told myself that i shouldn't be doing it but i couldn't resist. not to be harsh but i didnt regret any of it but the part where i knew it would hurt you." i admit , i finally did it.

it had to be done. " i appreciate you for coming clean and not holding back. your honesty is one of the things that i love about you." he turns to look at me.

" so what does this mean for us?"

" it means that we are ending things but on a good term. i still love you no matter what. i hope he treats you amazing and you are happy with or without me. i love you ok." he gives me a kiss on the cheek and gets up to hug me.

a part of me still feels guilty about everything but at the same time relieved. i kept putting so much pressure on myself all i had to do was be honest.

we released from the hug and smiled at each other. he walked out of the door and closed it behind him. i let out a deep sigh and dropped right back on the bed. the tears i was holding back finally let loose.

ᴛɪᴍᴇ ꜱᴋɪᴘ
➪➪➪

ive cried enough for the week honestly, im so done. i was currently getting ready to go out with vic and mattia and jackson. they wanted to come together and talk about this whole situation.

something in me tells me this isnt a good idea but i have no choice. its better to face your problems then run away from them ...right? i just have to put on my best face and get this over with.

" come in" i answer from the knocking at my door. at this point im used to everyone knocking but it's annoying now , im just gonna start leaving the door open.

" hey how you holding up?" mattia questions while standing at the door. i was sitting at the vanity while doing my makeup. i turn around look at him with a faint smile. " trying to cover up my eye bags bad."

" damn i didnt know it was that bad." he sighs and walks in closer. he stands behind my chair and looks at me through the mirror. " if it makes you feel any better , they both went without us."

i pause on what i was doing and turn to him. " really , thank god i dont have to leave the house" i let out a sigh. i reach for my makeup wipes but he snatches it away from me.

" no ma'am, your not wasting that makeup. im taking you out," he places the wipes back onto the vanity.

" do we have to go out? i kinda wanna stay in my room .... away from people." i look up at him. " no because the more you stay in here , the more depressing it gets." he looks around the room.

its not dirty , but its just not tidy. i have my suitcase all messed up and everything on the floor. its not much to clean though.

" fine , give me 30 minutes." i give in and continue to do my makeup.

after those thirty minutes i was finally ready. i went for something simple and wore a white and blue knit sweater with some blue jeans and white air forces.

i grab my purse and walk out the door. i run down the stairs and everyone is down there. the only thing that i can think of is how im gonna explain all of this to them. even to celeste. my brain hurts just thinking lemme stop.

mattia was standing in the kitchen waiting for me. i nod in his direction letting him know im ready.

" hey where you guys going?" alvaro jumps up from the couch. " um out duh," i roll my eyes. " without us? thats mean." robert folds his arms. " we need to talk about something important, alone." mattia interveins and grabs the key off the counter.

" wait where is vic and jackson?" kairi questions. " dont really know" i shrug and head for the door. i head for the car and get it. i dont have time to tell them anything right now , i need to get my head together first.

i place my head on the dashboard and let out a deep sigh. the door slams shut and someone touches my back.