~Haikyuu Oneshots~

Tsukiyama-rainy days-🤕

Hahaha i feel e v i l so i'm finna write that good good angst. hold on to ur tighty wighties 

Yams POV 

it always happens on a rainy day. 

Everything bad always happens on a rainy day. 

It was a Wednesday, we were having lunch in the back of the classroom. The rain was pouring onto the metal roof. it almost sounded like a constant downpour of nails and screws on a tile floor. The rain stained the windows. the drops left streaks in their wake as the plummeted down. it was so loud. I wanted the rain to go away. 

It never stopped. 

We were walking underneath his umbrella. I could smell his cologne. It was called 'oasis.' at least that's what he told me. He told me everything. He told me about his brother, about what annoyed him, about every little thing until he was out of breath. He told me every little aspect. he remembered only to tell me. He remembered only so that i could see clearly. He led me down the path of his life as i was blindfolded. and i trusted him. 

"Tadashi, my grandparents are coming over for dinner so i don't want you at my house today. I'm sorry." His words were hollow. he looked straight ahead as he talked. He was so blunt nowadays. He used to brighten my world. He would tell me stories. Stories that only i could hear. He didn't want anyone but me. Now it seems like he could care less about me. I was a wrapper in his pocket that he forgot to throw out. I wanted to tell him how i felt. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. 

"That's fine," is what i said instead. 

~

It was dark in my room. The rain only got louder. It was taunting me. the lightning struck, the thunder boomed. It was trying to scare me. And it worked. 

I was shivering even thought i wasn't cold. I wanted him to walk into my room and comfort me like he used to. I wanted him to hold me and stroke my hair. I wanted him to tell me more of his stories. I wanted him to be him. I wanted him to be mine. He was supposed to be mine, right? My Tsukishima. He had lost his light.

Or maybe he just didn't love me anymore. 

I pulled the blanket over my head praying that it wasn't true. He loved me. he told me that he did. He explained it as vibrantly as he did his stories. I was his. 

I held my knees closer to my chest. I want the storm to go away. I want my Tsukki back. That's all i want. 

I took out my phone and dialed his number, my thumb hitting the cold screen with muscle memory. I knew his number by heart. I would be able to reach him in any state, high or sober. I knew him as well as i knew my own being. He knew me, too. he loved me. He loves me. 

The phone rang four times before he picked up. 

"What is it Tadashi?! i told you i would be having dinner with my grandparents!" 

"I know Tsukki i- i'm sorry i'm just- i'm scared and cold and alone and-" 

"i have to go. my mothers calling me. bye Tadashi." 

he hung up. 

there was no warmth in his voice 

no concern 

no joy 

no vibrancy 

no love

Why did i think that he would care. I'm so stupid. He doesn't love me. He never did. I'm an idiot. Stupid stupid stupid. 

~the next day

Tsukki's POV 

I can't believe i hung up on him. 

I was so cold. I sounded like a stern police officer, not his boyfriend. I hate myself for how i behaved. Tadashi doesn't deserve this. I do love him, I really do, i just can't express it like i used to be able to. 

My mother says it's because i ran out of antidepressants.

My father says it's because i don't eat enough. 

My grandparents say it's because i'm gay. 

I don't know what i try to tell myself. I'm alright? I'm fine? I know i'm not. I know i'm a shitty person for leaving Tadashi. He was quivering, I could hear it in his voice. He was scared, of course he was, he's always been scared of thunderstorms. I should be there. I shouldn't be at this house that i barely recognise as my own. I want to go home. But i am home. 

No. 

I can't be at home is Tadashi isn't here. He must hate me. He must not love me anymore. 

God i'm such a fuck up. 

Teehee i'm gonna end that there ✌️ hope y'all liked it. I might've cried while making it, or maybe i didn't, you'll never know. Ne way, bye bye scallywags 

-Sweetie 

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