YuYan One Shots

Sunrise and Moonlight

Keni is never awake in time for sunrise.

She has tried on several occasions to pry open her eyes and climb out of bed in order to view the dazzling oranges and yellows that would peek over the horizon. Every time, however, she falls short. She falls asleep after snoozing her alarm or wakes up too late. She keeps missing it.

It's been a month since she broke up with Yuyan, and since she stopped chasing sunrises. This particular Friday morning is uncomfortable, to say the least. She wakes to her blaring phone alarm with a crick in her neck and her hair in a tangled mess. She had fallen asleep over some textbooks too, in the middle of studying for an exam for history. The books were now face down on the floor.

Keni stands from her bed and begins to pick up the textbooks and miscellaneous papers that had fallen out of her binder. Most of them are just loose-leaf handouts from school or flyers for school events. Some are random pieces of homework she forgot to turn in at some point or was keeping for studying purposes. It is a yellow sticky note in mint condition that makes her hesitate, though.

Keni knows what it is before she even turns it over. The note is one she is painfully familiar with, one of the hundreds that she had collected over the course of the six months she and Yuyan had been together. With a gulp, Keni flips over the sticky note to read Yuyan's neat handwriting. She shouldn't have, instead just tossed the note into the bin at the corner of her room and moved on with her day, but the part of her that is so attached to Yuyan pleads to see the note again.

Good luck today! S is lucky to have someone as amazing as you. -Y.Y.

Keni stares at the letters. This is a note from early in their relationship, back when Yuyan was still learning how to write in English. Therefore, this note is in English. Without thinking, Keni traces her finger over the curves of each letter, over the soft loops of Yuyan's Ls and the tails of the Ys. Each letter is soft, with no harsh corners. Just like Yuyan.

Keni tosses the note onto her bookshelf. She can feel her face getting warm and she can't afford to feel sorry for herself this early in the morning. Keni shoves her schoolwork into her messenger bag and gets ready for school, accepting her lunch box from her mother without exchanging anything more than a "Good morning".

As she always has, Keni bikes to school. Unlike as she always has, she doesn't make a stop at the river she and Yuyan would meet up at. In fact, she takes an entirely different route. This one is longer and occasionally makes her late for class, but it's a penalty she's willing to take. If she knows Yuyan, she knows that Yuyan is waiting along the route they always would travel. She is going to try and figure out what's wrong and take the free time that they have to try and heal the wound. Keni can't let her get that close.

Surprisingly, Keni makes it to class on time. She takes her seat by the window just as her teacher enters the room. She clearly ignores her ex seated beside her. Yuyan is there, as always, trying to be discreet in her side glances. Keni knows Yuyan wants to talk to her about what happened that day at sunset. She's tried multiple times over the past month to chase her down and ask. Keni just won't let Yuyan tie her down, though.

When it's time for lunch, Keni keeps her head down and uses the same evasive maneuvers she always has to avoid Yuyan as much as possible as they exit the classroom. And as she always has, Yuyan attempts to walk with her.

"Nini," Yuyan says, her voice soft and quiet. "Please."

Keni nearly stops in her tracks. The absolute hurt in Yuyan's voice is more than enough to make her crack a little. Keni feels the crushing weight of the pain that she has put on Yuyan for the past month come down on her. The sleepless nights. The far-off looks. The crying. Keni, suddenly, feels it all, knows it all. They are mourning their relationship the exact same way as if they had been in love. Keni had been. She's certain Yuyan hadn't. Keni wants to turn to her, take Yuyan in her arms, and sob how sorry she is for the pain she's caused her over the past month, for all the tears Yuyan shed over Keni. Keni wants to hold her tight and never let go again. But she doesn't.