𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 ~ dnf

14.

dark,
humid,
and windy.

the air blows a gentle breeze
towards dream.
his hair flows everywhere
and he pushes it to the side
just slightly.

so he could see the stars above him
in the night sky
like him and george would do
every night
before they went to sleep
in the treehouse.

it's been four months,
since he tried to commit suicide.
the atmosphere is now warm,
as spring comes along
and the flowers begin to bloom.

dream takes in the warmth
that the spring air gives him.
the warmth,
that he's been missing
ever since george,
went away.

he feels comforted,
but not enough
to feel okay.

he's still so distraught
and he's tried
countless times
to get over george
but he just can't.

not when he was everything
he ever wanted.
not when he was the only thing
keeping dream afloat.

dream sits here,
on the same large rock
he used to sit on
everyday,
when he would wait for george
to come home.

but he's not waiting.
dream isn't waiting for george to come home,
he's simply sitting here
watching the stars
to feel some sort of pain
drift away from his heart.

to see if maybe,
he could forget just how awful
this year without george has been.

he's even more scared of dying now
than he was before,
because of his failed attempt
at death.

he keeps thinking about it
and having nightmares
of that night,
when he pushed his head under the water
for as long as he could
until he couldn't breath
and was choking on salty ocean water.

it haunts his memory
because he was so close
to dying,
he was right there.

he saw the light
he could feel it
eating him up,
but then it suddenly
went away
and he was brought
back to earth.

brought back to reality
and his life
worth nothing.

he's scared,
he's afraid
of water.

scared of the dark depths
of the ocean
and the creatures
living beneath it.

he's afraid,
it'll try to take him away again
or it'll bring another body
to shore.

dream's afraid,
the water will take
another one of his friends away.

he's scared,
george's ghost will haunt him
for letting him get away.
for letting george disappear
for letting the water carry his body to shore.
he's scared,
of death.

and maybe he's scared,
to upset george.

dream's tried to feel better,
just to please george
but he can't.
his friends have reached out to him
and he agrees to their plans
to meet up,
but he always ends up dipping
the second it happens.

he hasn't talked to anyone
not since his failed
suicide attempt.

the only person he's come even
decently in contact with since then,
is tommy.

he just hates people
and would much rather
be on his own
to drench himself
in his own sorrow.

to be able to scream
at the top of his lungs
just to get all of his emotions
that have been held up inside of him
for way too long,
all out.

he looks out in the distance
the crumbled up treehouse
the burnt wood
that's chiseled
with black dust
and sharp edges.

the wood he and george,
handled so long ago
when they first,
began to build that treehouse.