Lost | Dean Winchester [2]

Chapter 3

"So what now?" I asked Dean as we sat at the small table. We'd gone back up to the room now and we were basically just catching up. "Are you gonna go back to Sam?"

"I can't." He said, shaking his head. "If he finds out what I did, he'll just end up throwing away his life to try and save me."

"Dean, you can't just run away from him again."

"Watch me."

"But what if he can help you get out of your deal?" I asked, earning a heavy sigh from him.

"There's no getting out of a deal like this. And anyway, it doesn't matter if I die, I was supposed to die ages ago. At least this way no one else's is gonna get hurt 'cause of me."

"Do you really hate yourself that much that you'd rather die than let someone help you?"

"You know what, if it means that much to you, we'll go see Sam. But if he tries to go to extremes to save me, I'm gonna stop him."

"Fine."

***

As I stood behind Dean, looking up at the old house, I was hesitant about going in. Bobby and Sam were going to hate me once they found out what Dean did. I hated me. I took a small breath before following Dean inside and the second Bobby spotted me, it was clear he wasn't happy. "What the hell is she doin' here?!"

"Bobby, I know what you're thinking, but I promise it's not it." Dean said, holding his arm out in front of me.

"Alright, what is it then?"

"I...I had no choice, okay? I didn't know what else to do so-"

"You made a deal."

"Yeah."

"The hell's wrong with you? Are you that screwed in the head?" He scoffed. "How long you got?"

"A year."

"Why would you be so damn stupid? What about Sam? You know he's gonna try and save you. All because you wanna die to save her."

"What?" A voice suddenly came. Sam was now standing in the doorway, frozen with shock. "What's he talking about? Dean?"

"Sammy, not here." Dean muttered as he tried to urge his brother out of the kitchen. "Let's talk somewhere else."

"No Dean, tell me what's going on."

Dean sighed. "It's nothing...I made a deal."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sam said, hurt in his eyes.

"Sammy, I had no choice, okay?"

"You know what? I've had it with you Dean, you're so determined to destroy your life, and I'm done with it. Ever since dad died you've been acting crazy, and I'm not gonna just stand here and watch as you throw your life away."

Dean just stood there in silence as Sam pushed past him to leave the house. I hated that they were fighting because of me, but I didn't know what to do.

***

I felt uneasy as I sat in the uncomfortably silent room. Bobby was sitting in the kitchen, finishing a bottle of whiskey, and Dean was sitting in the armchair across the room. Sam had been gone for about half an hour now and all I wanted to do was just leave. I was the reason Dean had basically agreed to killing himself, and I knew that everytime Sam saw me, it'd just be a reminder that he was going to lose his brother. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting either of them, at least if I left, I'd have some control over this.

"Dean?"

He turned to face me, his eyes drained. "Yeah?"

"I'm just gonna go outside and get some air." I told him as I got up to leave. I couldn't stay here. Maybe Sam and Bobby would be able to help Dean get out of his deal, but all I would do was remind them of what was likely going to happen. At least this way I could make their lives a little easier.

***

a/n
Sorry this took so long, I ended up with really bad writer's block and had to take a break from my computer for a bit aha!