Lost | Dean Winchester [2]

Chapter 11

When I opened my eyes, I was immediately wishing I hadn't. My head was throbbing. I groaned, pressing my face into the pillows. "I am never...drinking alcohol again."

"You're with me, I can assure you you won't stick to that."

Once I heard that voice, the events of last night flashed through my mind. It wasn't quite clear yet, but I remembered seeing Dean's jacket. I was sure I'd been seeing things, but now, hearing his voice behind me, I knew it was him in that alley with me.

"Dean?" I said, snapping my head up from the pillows to see him sitting at a table in the corner of the room. "Wait, where am I?"

He chuckled. "Hotel."

"Where were you?" It was slowly dawning on me what happened last night. I was at a bar drowning my sorrows, and then I went outside and... "That guy...oh my god, he was...he was gonna-"

"I know." He said, lowering his gaze to the floor. "But it's over now, I dealt with it."

"You beat the crap outta him Dean!"

"Yeah well he deserved a lot worse! He's lucky he's not dead."

"Dean!"

"What?! When I saw what he was doing to you-"

"How did you know where I was?" I asked, catching him off guard.

He just shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"How did you know Dean?"

"I've been checking up on you."

"You've been following me? I've been looking for you all this time and you've been here the whole time?!"

"Not the whole time."

"Why didn't you come back?"

"Because I can't." He muttered.

"Why not? You're here now so why can't you just come back?!"

"Because all you wanna do is save my damn life! I don't need that."

"You don't need to live?!"

"No, I don't want to get my hopes up for something that's never gonna happen."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do. I made a deal and I got one year. I knew what I was getting myself into and I know there's no point tryna get myself out of it. You're alive, that's all that matters."

I didn't know what to say. He'd just given up and all he cared about was that I was alive. But there wasn't a point in being alive if he was gonna die. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I finally said something. "You can't just give up. When we first met, I was giving up, I was ready to die. And you pulled me back from the edge. You saved my life." 

"No, don't compare us. I did this for you. If you get to live, then all this will be worth it."

"No it won't."

"What?"

"It won't be worth it. You'll be dead, and I'll still be here. If that's my future then I'd rather be dead."

"Yeah well I did this because if I don't have you...then I might as well be dead."

"Dean you don't have me anyway. You've been gone."

He shrugged. "Yeah well who's fault is that?"

"Yours. You made that deal when I was fine staying dead. And then when I tried to help you, your suicidal ass bolted. You did this Dean, no one else!"

He didn't say anything. He just sat there, his eyes filling with anger. And then he shot up from where he was sitting, the chair clattering to the floor, and stormed over to the door, slamming it shut as he left. I didn't try to go after him, it was useless. He just wasn't ready to admit that he'd made a mistake bringing me back.

***

a/n
So I finally posted! Sorry I've been taking forever, I've been reading a lot lately so I haven't had much time to write aha. But from now on, I'm gonna try and upload at least once a month. Thanks for reading! :)