Lost | Dean Winchester [2]

Chapter 6

As I sat quietly in the back of the Impala, it was difficult to keep the tears out of my eyes. Dean wanted to die, he didn't want our help. He didn't even care. How could we save him if he didn't even want to save himself? I was snapped away from my thoughts when I heard the car door open.

"Why don't you want to find this demon?" I asked, earning a frustrated sigh from Dean.

"Just leave it."

"Dean, I can't! I care about you. I want to help."

"So?" He snapped, not even bothering to look at me. "What're you gonna do?! Go jump off another frickin' bridge?!"

That stung. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to get out of the car and just run away again, but instead I chose to sit in silence, hoping that Sam would hurry up so we could go.

After a few painfully long minutes, Sam finally got inside the car and we set off. I wasn't even sure where we were going. I wasn't sure I cared.

***

We finally arrived at a motel just outside Montana and no one had spoken a single word the whole way here. Sam could obviously tell something was up, but neither of us wanted to fill him in. Dean was probably too angry and I was just too hurt. Less than a week ago, Dean told me he couldn't live without me. And now, he couldn't even look at me.

I reluctantly followed Dean into the building while Sam walked beside me, clearly noticing his brother was in a mood. When we got to the room, we were still silent, and I couldn't take it anymore. It was hurting too much. Before Sam could even close the door, I was rushing to the bathroom, my tears already beginning to fall.

I desperately clutched the edge of the sink, Dean's words echoing in my mind. 'What're you gonna do?! Go jump off another frickin' bridge?!'

I wanted to. I wanted to be anywhere but here. I'd take the psych ward over this. At least there I wasn't desperately clutching my chest as I tried to hold myself together.

I jumped when I heard a knock at the door, followed by Sam's voice. "Everything okay in there?"

"Yeah." I coughed, my throat tight as I spoke. "I'm good."

I stood there for a moment as I tried to compose myself and then I made the decision to go out into the room, where Dean was sitting with his eyes fixed on his laptop. It was then that Sam tapped me on the shoulder. "Is everything okay with you two?"

"It doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore." I muttered, my voice still a little broken. "Does it Dean?!"

He was looking at me now, and his eyes seemed to be filled with fire. "Leave it Eva."

"Why? I thought you didn't care anymore."

"I don't."

"You're pathetic Dean." I scoffed. "This twisted idea you have, that you deserve to die? It's bullshit, and I'm done."

I didn't even spare him another glance before I turned and stormed out the door. Although I didn't get far, as I ended up back in the Impala, alone in the dark. As pissed as I was with him right now, I couldn't just leave him. I just needed some space. Yes I was hurt, but so was he. At least I hoped that was the reason behind his behaviour. If it wasn't, then I'd clearly misjudged him as the nice guy who saved my life all those months ago.

I barely even moved when the door opened. If it was Dean, I didn't even have the energy to argue with him. I was just done. But when I looked over to the passenger seat, I wasn't met with Dean's furious eyes, I was met with Sam's sympathetic ones.

"It's gonna be okay ya know." He said quietly, turning to face out of the window.

I didn't answer. I didn't even know what to say.

"He didn't mean what he said." Sam tried again.

"How do you know?"

"Because he's Dean. He says things he doesn't mean and regrets them later." He explained. "I guess he's just not used to someone looking out for him."

"I just don't know what to do."

"We've just gotta convince him his life's worth living."

I scoffed. "Yeah, 'cause that's so easy."

"It'll be hard, but we can fix this. We can save him, Eva."