Lost | Dean Winchester [2]

Chapter 9

"Here." Sam said as he held a bottle out to me.

I looked up, confused as to why he was handing me a bottle of alcohol. "Whiskey?"

"We've been here almost a week now and you haven't said a word." He explained as he sat down on the bed beside me. "You've just been hiding in this room and I can only give you so much space."

"I don't need space."

"Well why won't you talk to me?"

I shrugged. "I dunno, I just feel like maybe you don't really want me here. Like you're just doing this because of Dean."

"Doing what?"

"Putting up with me? Letting me stay on the road with you even though the person who brought me into this isn't even here anymore."

He sighed, taking a sip from the bottle. "I'm not just gonna leave you because Dean's gone."

"Why? I know how you must feel about me. I'm the reason you're gonna lose your brother and all I'm doing by being here is reminding you of that."

"Eva, it was his choice, you couldn't exactly stop him."

"Yeah well I could've actually been a decent person all those months ago and just stayed away from that damn bridge."

"Okay, look. None of this is your fault. Dean chose to help you, and he also chose to bring you back after you died saving me. No one blames you."

I scoffed. "I do."

"Well stop. This isn't your fault."

"God, you must think I'm such an ass." I said, suddenly realising how much I'd been whining lately. "I just can't stop thinking about the fact that Dean made that deal for me. And that if we'd never met, he would still have his whole life ahead of him. I don't like being the reason for his death."

"You're not. Crowley is, and if we can find him, then we might have a chance at saving Dean."

"What if he doesn't come back?"

"I think he'll come back eventually." He smiled.

"How come?"

"C'mon, you don't seriously think he'd just leave you behind. I see the way he looks at you."

"What do you mean?"

"He looks at you like you're the most important thing in the world."

"He saved my life ya know." I suddenly said, smiling slightly at the memory of him giving me his proudest smile. "And then the next day, he wouldn't stop following me because he wanted to make sure I was okay."

"Do you love him?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. It's just...everytime I think we're getting closer, something always drives us apart. My death, his deal..."

"You know in all the time that I've been with Dean, I've only ever seen him love one person."

"Who?"

"She was called Cassie. We were helping her out and it was obvious he loved her with the way he looked at her. And I never saw him look at another person that way again...until you."

"Damn."