Red vs blue (Female OC) season 14

PSA hard truths

Sarge: Well hello, PSA viewer. I have some bad news for you. I regret to inform you that your ignorance... has come to an end.

Flames begin to appear and a title card for Hard Truths shows up as Reveille plays.

Sarge: This is HARD TRUTHS! The unavoidable facts of life from your host, ME! The tough love, kick in the keister you're momma should've given ya. So, blow up a pew in the Church of Truthism cuz it's about to get preachy!

More flames appear.

Hard truth number one! Taste for mushrooms develops in humans at about seven years old. If you dislike mushrooms as an adult YOU'RE JUST A BIG BABY! Hard truth number two: CRABS! Crabs deserve an apology from nature, if you ask me. Fish are swimming and crabs still gotta walk everywhere? Oh time to migrate to Hawaii. Guess I'll frikkin' walk! Sideways no less! Come on! Hard truth number three: Kevin Smith movies have never ever...

All the other Reds and Blues are looking at Sarge from his "stage".

Sarge: Err... Aah.. hmm... Weirdly decent turnout. Well all I can say is, FINALLY! You people have lived acoustic versions of your lives for too damn long. Tough Love is the only love you losers can hope for. Am I right?

Caboose: Oh no! Ah, we're here for the..

Grif: [whispers] Shh! Shh! Shut up.

Sarge: Of course I'm right! Don't answer that!

Donut: Uh, Sarge? I hate to tell you this, but you're not actually getting your own PSA.

Sarge: What!? But I'm on the thumbnail.

Donut: Yeah, we kind of just needed to get you up here.

Sarge: I do not appreciate that.

Donut: We... [deep breath] [whispers to self] Be strong, Donut. We all thought we should get together... with you... and... [clears throat] Sarge, this is a Friend-tervention.

Sarge: A what now?

Donut: It's where we each come up in turn and CONSTRUCTIVELY deconstruct you. Pointing out the things you say and do...

Grif: ...and are...

Donut:... in the hopes of inspiring change.

Sarge: That's a roast.

Donut: No. A Friend-tervention.

Sarge: That's a roast. You're all gonna roast me. Ooh! That's gonna be great! I don't get no respect. Hey. Let me loosen up to get ready.

Tucker: Gross!

Donut: Ack. We all agreed on friend-tervention

Caboose: Not me. I voted for friendsome.

Everyone else: BLECK!

Sarge: I can't believe my friends to do this and expect me to CARE! Sticks and stones, buttercups. This ought to be good.

Donut goes to a pedestal

Donut: Okay, well I guess I'll go first. Sarge went into my phone... and change the notification tone to the PING of a grenade pin.

Sarge: Alertness is a full-time job!

Carolina is on the pedestal

Carolina: He coined the term 'active bitch face' just for me.

Sarge: And you and Shawn kicked my ass. I think we're even.

Thea is on the pedestal.

Thea: Sarge sent naked pictures of myself to the jackass from my UNSC training days.