Skinny Love (DISCONTINUED)

Thinking Out Loud.

                                                                                Justin

        There are only two things that you can do when you realize that you're in love with someone. You can either take a leap and confess to them how much they make you happy. Or you can simply ignore it. You ignore the quick beat of your heart whenever that person steals a glance at you, you ignore the cool shock of their skin whenever their hand occasionally brushes up against yours, and most importantly, you ignore the burning urge to scoop them up into your arms to protect them from everything. 

        I cannot deny the feeling for any longer. I am in love with Miley. More in love than I ever thought was possible. 

        I realized this on the plane ride to Stratfod. Sitting next to a sleeping Miley, I watched the rhythmic movement of her breathing — how her chest rose and fell with every deep breath. I noticed how she would sometimes mutter incoherent things in her slumber. All I wanted to do was kiss her. I thought about the kiss we shared at Times Square. How the city was still buzzing with tourists, and how the shining lights from the billboards up above lit up her face in all the right places. 

        She looked so beautiful. Beautiful enough that at one point I had to force myself to look at anything but her lips. 

        My mother had been excited once I told her that Miley would be accompanying me on the trip. She isn't aware of our current situation — if that's what you'd call it. All she knew was that during my first couple of months in New York, me and got reconnected and saw each other almost on a daily basis. I'm not even sure if she knows about Miley's engagement to Nick. I can already imagine the look on her face once she sees the ring. She'll probably go on about how happy she is for her and jump into the whole wedding conversation that I'm sure Miley has had more often recently. 

        Deep down I think she's not ready to get married. Maybe this is just because I'm too in love with her to think otherwise, but I don't think that her and Nick are made for each other. 

        I've always believed that there was one person in the world that was just made specifically for you. They were put on the earth for you to love. It doesn't have to be romantic or anything, that person is just made for your love. I don't think that Nick was made for Miley or vice-versa. Maybe it's just because I'm not ready to watch her get married to someone that isn't me, I don't know. 

        I thought about me and Alex. How different we were than my relationship with Miley. We shared less things in common, and only seemed to agree with each other during our intimate moments.

        But I stayed with her. I stayed because during my heartbroken college years, she was there to help me. Actually, the day that I told her about my past with Miley she was the one to tell me what it was best for me to forget about her — and for a while I did. Eventually, Miley became a distant memory that I never thought I'd relive again. Until that one day, where our paths crossed yet again. 

        Almost as if on purpose, we both reconnected during important changes in our lives. I was just moving in after college with Alex, and Miley was preparing for her grand wedding. For whatever reason, we were destined to meet again.

        God, I can only imagine how crazy I sound right now. I normally wouldn't even think about things like this...love and stuff, but with Miley...everything felt different. I no longer was afraid to express my feelings because all I wanted to do was let her know every little thing that was going on in my head. I wanted her to know about how much I care about her, how I'm scared to see my grandfather because he could be taking his last few breaths right in front of me, or even how I wish that I wasn't so stupid enough to let her go. 

        I shook my head and leaned back further into the leather seat, allowing the small chattering and movements of the plane to swallow me in. 

        Maybe I should sleep. Sleeping usually makes things better, at least for me they do. 

        So, I shut my eyes and found a comfortable sitting position — careful enough not to move around too much so I wouldn't end up waking up Miley, then tried my hardest to slip into a slumber. We had at least three more hours until we were in Canada, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my time on this plane thinking about the beautiful girl next to me and how desperately I needed her back into my life again.

        Once my body was actually starting to shut down, I felt a wave of relaxation as my mind soon began to fill with things other than Miley or my grandpa. Just before I dazed off completely, I could hear a soft whimper from the seat next to me, followed by the feeling of pressure against my shoulder. I cracked opened my eyes to see Miley resting her head on my shoulder, obviously too deep in her slumber to acknowledge what she was doing. The feeling of her so close to me sent chills all throughout my body and my hand twitched, wanting to brush over her perfectly blonde hair.

        Instead, I crossed my arms over my chest and made a effort to remain still. I closed my eyes yet again and tried to ignore the feeling of the girl that I'm madly in love with on my shoulder, sleeping just as peacefully as she normally would.