Skinny Love (DISCONTINUED)

Nowhere But Up.

*Justin's POV*

I didn't want to hear about their conversation, so I tried to drown out the sound of Miley talking to Nick in the sweet tone that she once spoke to me in. Miley must have gotten my hint of boredom because she took steps away from me. Her arm was wrapped around her tiny body and her head was held low, with a wide grin across her face. She looked happy. The naive part of me wanted to know what was making her so happy, but I knew that the only person who can make her smile like that besides me is Nick.

I don't understand her sometimes. One second she's saying how much she cares about our relationship, and the next second she's acting like I don't even exist. I know that she's not supposed to just forget about Nick during this trip but it would be nice if she didn't make it even more obvious that she would never be mine again. God, I'm starting to act like some jealous boyfriend or something. I even have to remind myself that I can't feel this way. Not anymore.

I thought about what she said to me a few minutes ago. Of course she would know how I really felt, she always does. She's the only person that can detect my true emotions even if I don't want her to. When we were together she never let me avoid telling her how I felt. I was never that into my feelings, so I hated expressing how I felt. Not that I was some cold hearted person or anything. It was just that I thought it would be best to avoid my feelings rather than talk about them.

There had been many times where she forced me to speak my mind. It was annoying as hell, but talking about how I felt with Miley was therapeutic. She never judged me, nor acted as if I made no sense at all.

After a couple more minutes of her talking, I cleared my throat as if to tell her that I was waiting for her to finish. Our plane was leaving soon and I didn't want to miss out on seeing my Grandfather because she was busy being all lovey dovey with Nick. This is the only reason why we are even together, after all. 

"I have to go now baby. We'll talk once the plane lands, I love you." Miley half whispered to Nick. Some seconds later, she hung up the phone and placed it back inside of her coat pocket. She looked at me with a sheepish smile, her cheeks coated with a light pink blush.

"I'm sorry. Now, let's get going." She continued to walk, taking steps ahead of me.

I quickly followed her pace. Oh no, we are not going to drop our precious conservation so quickly.

"I care about you too, you know. I don't want you to hide things from me and I want us to be the way we used to be." Licking my lips, I stepped next to Miley. "I can tell when you're hiding things from me too. I know I have no right to butt in on your relationship but...I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, even if it means that we can't be together the way that I want us to be." 

At that moment I decided that I shouldn't have said that because Miley looks up at me with her eyes wide. She purses her lips into a straight line and I see her cheeks turning red. She looks so beautiful when she blushes.... 

I caught myself glazing my eyes over her lips and I had to look away so that I could reject the urge to kiss her. That's what put us in this whole predicament anyway. I think if I tried to kiss her now she would either smack me, or kiss me back. 

"You don't have to say anything. I needed you to know how I felt, that's all." I tried my best to sound nonchalant. "You're with Nick, and I respect that." 

I wondered where I would be right now if me and Miley never went our separate ways. I wonder how different out lives would've been together. She always used to tell me how she planned our future to be, but never told me the exact details. I imagined how many memories we could have had together. How many laughs, kisses, and hugs that may now never happen. When we broke up, I thought that it was a good idea for the both of us since we had different goals in life. Miley wanted everything and I didn't know if I could be able to give her all that she deserved. 

At the time I didn't even know what I wanted to be in life. Yeah, I had photography in mind but I was unsure if it would be something that would make me happy for the rest of my life. I was just as confused about my future as every other teenager on the verge of becoming a real adult. I was scared for my future. I was scared that I wasn't going to be enough for her. I didn't know how to tell her that, so I thought that ending our relationship would save her from being disappointed in me. I thought she deserved someone better. Someone with a real future. 

Someone who had a purpose in what they were doing. 

I didn't deserve her then, and I don't even think I deserve her now. But I need her. I never thought that I can love someone this much. God, if only I can go back and change what happened. We would've never had that argument. We would've been happy together and all of the drama that we have over our heads down won't even be there. It would be just me and Miley, happy together and in love. 

Miley looked at me with a weak smile that made my heart feel like it stopped completely. And with that, I knew that I needed to have her in my arms again. 

We went through all of the necessary procedures that we had to go through before boarding the plane. It surprisingly didn't take that long as it normally would, since tons of people usually travel around during the holidays to visit their loved ones and families. 

We got on the plane and took out seats which were right next to each other. Miley's seat was by the window, which seemed to be a good excuse for her to avoid my eyes. Something was on her mind, I can tell. She just doesn't want to tell me what she's thinking. 

I desperately needed her back in my life again.