What's Done in the Dark, Comes Forth to the Light

Perception

A week later, Tylor has finally returned home. I was able to get in touch with him two nights ago, and we agreed to have a conservation. When Tylor walked through the door, he immediately pressed me on where his son was at. 

"He's asleep in the bassinet over there," I told him. 

Tylor walked over to see the baby. He smiled when he saw him, which made me glow on the inside. 

"Look, can you just come back, please?" I asked him. 

"I-I just need time," said Tylor. 

"You need time for what, baby?" I asked. 

"I just haven't felt like myself lately," said Tylor. 

"You haven't felt like yourself?" Do you want to sit down with me and talk about it?" I asked. 

"Not now," Tylor said quickly. 

"Then when?" I asked. 

"When I can," said Tylor. 

"Babe, we have a child. We can't keep playing these games. We have to talk; it's been a whole week," I said. 

"Listen, Ashera. Believe me, when I tell you this, I love you. I married you. I felt like you were God's gift to me. I just have some issues going on," Tylor told me. 

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked. 

"Well, for starters, you never want to attend church with me. You know how important Christianity is to my life," Tylor said. 

"Babe, I will go to church. I'll do it for you, babe," I enlightened him. 

"That's the issue. You are doing it for me and not for God. I wanted to raise our child in the faith," Tylor said. "So, that's why you are depressed?" I asked. 

"No, it's not. I am just telling you something important to me that you refuse to help our family deliver on," Tylor said. 

"Okay, I will do better," I told him. 

"I hope you do. I am going to church this Saturday. Meet me there," said Tylor. 

"Meet you?" I asked in curiosity. 

"Yes, meet me there," Tylor reiterated. 

"Are you not staying home?" I asked him. 

"Not tonight. Maybe not even this week. Tomorrow I am coming over to grab my son for the rest of the week," Tylor said. 

"No," I said. 

"Yes, I will see you this Saturday," Tylor said. 

He left the apartment. I just went over to the baby, picked him up, and held him. From there, I cried. I just didn't know why Ty and I are even going through this at the moment. An hour later, after I breastfed the baby, I cried some more. Before I wanted to get in the shower, I felt the need to pray for the first time in a long time. I got on my knees, then I looked up to heaven, and I prayed. It's hard to believe in Him, yes, but I decided to pray. I asked God to help me find him if he is confirmed. I asked God if He could reveal himself to me and help me through the situation Tylor and I are going through. I can only hope that He'll answer, and when it comes to God, I can only expect that He'll shift my perception.