Elegant Affair

II.VII

I don't usually come here often but most of the employees greeted me outside. I'm not even working yet everyone's treating me like I'm their boss. Magkaiba naman iyon sa pagiging anak ng may-ari but I chose to ignore the unusual politeness and went straight to Papa's office where he asked to meet me in a less nice, more demanding way.

"Is this really necessary?" I said as soon as Papa's secretary left the room. Pati sa akin ay nagpaalam pa siya; too politely.. "Magkikita naman tayo sa bahay this Friday. Don't worry Papa, I'm not avoiding you if that's what your thinking."

Alam kong ayaw niyang pinapangunahan siya but I didn't have a choice. He never really gave me the chance to explain. This is unnecessary anyways because I don't feel the need to do so. Alam ko naman ang ginagawa ko at gusto kong malaman niya iyon. I just want to give the family that... assurance.

"You're old enough to know what you should and shouldn't do, Lavender."

Good. At least we're on the same page. If Mama knows about it, she'd be hysterical. Buti na lang pala at si Papa ang tumawag sa akin.

"I don't want to talk about what you've been doing or what you're currently doing. What I want to ask you is if you know what you want to do for your future. You still have your plans, right?"

"Acquire knowledge, develop my skills, make a name for myself," I said confidently. "Then go back here, work for the family business... just as I promised you."

Papa nodded, his face still looking calm as always. I already told him my plans before which is why he's more laid back than Mama when it comes to this talk.

"I know some things may just be history for you but if the family still means to you, just please, don't do anything that could upset your grandmother who sacrificed more than enough for this family." He looked at me meaningfully. "You understand me right?"

I nodded. Of course, I do.

***

"Hey-"

"Yes?"

"Di ka nakikinig sa akin."

I smiled apologetically at Esme. She was so excited about this sleepover. Everything about the wedding planning has been stressing her out.

I was distracted but I don't want to let her down kaya ayaw ko din i-cancel ang plano namin.

I need to focus on the present. "All ears."

"Are you okay?" Pansin niya din atang hindi ako okay."

I wasn't myself these past days. Parang napakaraming pagbabago at kailangang baguhin and I just realized how a huge portion of my life would change.

"I'm just overwhelmed." I honestly told Esme. I don't want to leave her in the dark. Alam kong napapansin niyang medyo wala ako sa sarili ko. I want to say what I'm feeling. "Papa's pressuring me to work for the business," I said. Saying a portion of the truth.

"Really? Akala ko ba, may agreement kayo."

"Yes. But I'm actually considering working there... Maybe not immediately but I'm just a bit overwhelmed thinking about the possible changes."

"I totally understand," she sighed. Bakit parang biglang naging seryoso ang night of fun dapat namin? We're apparently under so much stress. "Don't tell this to anyone, Lav but I'm having doubts..."