Luke:
Q: Why are you being so stupid right now? Stop hurting Michael
A: Wait what? When did I hurt Michael? How do you know I hurt him? Why would I be hurting him I didn’t do anything *frowns at you with a pout*
Q: Do you really like Brady? If so why?
A: Yeah I do like him, he’s kind to me and he’s funny. He’s HOT by the way, like hellow! Did you see that face and his smile also his eyes and he’s so nice and cuddly and muscular and warm and and and I don’t even know… *Bites lip as he thinks about something else* He’s not an asshole?
Michael:
Q: Are you ok?
A: NO! I’m not ok, how could you even ask that! Luke like ripped my heart out of my chest and then slow danced on it with that Brady dude!
Q: Not a question, just an observation, I think you should stab Brady.
A: I’d never stab him! But I’d not stop him if he randomly walked in front of a bus which I was driving, or if I was holding a Katana and he just simply walked into it about 15 thousand times, nor would I stop him if he suddenly decided to jump off a cliff, might even give him a hand with that you know.
Q: If Brady wasn’t there, would you think that you could be with Luke? Or would you still thinks that it’s impossible?
A: I can’t date him, but I just REALLY don’t want him to date Brady, or anybody really. He should just stay single for the rest of his life and like get 15 cats or something… I mean that way nobody would ever break his heart you know, yeah staying single is the best thing for him.
Ashton:
Q: How are things going between you and Calum?
A: AMAZING! Like oh my gasw! He’s so sweet and hot and damn what a kisser and DAYUM what an ass, like have you seen his ass. WAIT don’t be checking out my mans ass! No he’s awesome and the best boyfriend ever and I love him… WAIT WHAT! Don’t tell him I said that or I’ll come over there and hit you with a greesy chicken breast! EW I said breast, Ew I said it again!
Q: Do you think something is not “normal” with Calum and Michael? Or are you as oblivious as Luke?
A: What do you mean there’s something not normal with my man? How effing dare you suggest that, bitch please! I mean yeah Michael has issues but saying something is wrong with MY MAN! NAHUH! That’s it I’m greasing up the breast!
Q: Do you like Brady? Do you ship Bruke?
A: I ship it like the fricking titanic, that needs to go DOWN! Michael has to be the iceberg ok! UGH Brady is stupid but I’m just being nice since Luke likes him. Even if I don’t understand why, Bruke isn’t happening ok but I mean Luke put up with my ex for ages so I guess I just have to put up with Brady for Luke. Luke’s happiness is the most important thing ever to me.
Q: Do you think Luke is absolutely completely stupid to go on another date with Brady?
A: YES! Like dafuq man? Also he’s fucking ignoring me for that bitch? AH HELL NO! I hope the date goes bad and Luke comes to his senses and he’ll come up to me crying and I’ll just hug him but I’ll be laughing on the inside because I just hate Brady. Maybe I can totes tell Michael Brady said something about his sweater and BAM Brady can vanish!
Calum:
Q: Are you on team Muke with me?
A: What’s a Muke? Like is that something new or what? I don’t understand. Is it slang for something?
Q: Do you like Brady?
A: HELL NO! I hate him so much and Luke is so stupid for hanging out with Brady! It’s breaking Mickey’s heart, I wish I could like eat Brady up. Wait that’s canabalism right? If I could make him disappear I would. Do you know a spot I can hide him where nobody would ever look? Just tell me, it’s our little secret ^^
Q: Do you think Luke is absolutely completely stupid to go on another date with Brady?
A: Luke can so what he likes, however is this date goes bad then I’m not going to comfort him, he’s hurting my best friend and he doesn’t even realize it. If Ashton didn’t love him like he does than I’d punch him in the face, with a frying pan or a house.
Brady:
Q: What are you doing with Luke?
A: I’m dating him, thought that was obvious.
Q: What is your deal with Michael and Calum? How do you know who they are? Do you know everything?
A: I don’t like Michael, I see the way he looks at Luke and how Luke looks at him. Payback’s a bitch though! I know Calum on a personal level, WAY personal but I don’t know Michael too much. All I know is that he ruined something for me, and he’s made my life a living hell! I’m the weak link in my family because of him!
Q: Do you even really like Luke?
A: The twink is hot, I mean nice legs and ass, his face is ok, he’s a bit skinny for my liking, lack of muscles but hey he’s cute.
Jack:
Q: I love you!
A: Thanks babe! Love you too!
Q: So I guess you ship MUKE, huh?
A: You’re lucky I know Ashton because or else I’d be like dafuq is a MUKE, but YES I ship it! Like a starwhale! Why do you think I texted Michael? I could have easily comforted my bro by myself you know, all I have to do is put on Mean Girls and bring a pizza. I just know he likes Michael, and Michael likes him, so maybe I should call Ben and we can go beat that Brady guy up? #BigBroTime!!!!! Hold up, Imma call Ben!!
Q: Do you think Luke is absolutely completely stupid to go on another date with Brady?
A: hold on a second! *on the phone* Ben, we’ve got somebody to beat up. Luke’s boyfriend, yes see you soon! *hangs up* Ben is going to come home this weekend! Ok so NO Luke should NOT have agreed on a second date!!! He’s my little brother and I love him but he’s got his head way to far up his own ass right now to realize just how stupid dating Brady is.
Me:
Q: Do you enjoy breaking my heart? I am so sad for Michael!
A: I admit, it’s kind of enjoyable to see your reactions but it’s hurting me too! Michael, my poor baby but Muke will happen ok!
YOU ARE READING
Inhumanly Handsome {Muke/Cashton}
FanfictionWhen Calum turned to us, his eyes a bright orange, his teeth pointy and a sudden amount of facial hair covering his jawline, Ashton and I both knew, he wasn't Human. The flash of green, followed by that amazing laugh I'd grown so fond of and a yelp...
