I'm not okay. (Percy Jackson fanfic)

Chapter 13

*trigger warning. If speaking about and/or acts of suicide are triggers for you, please do not read this chapter*

Percy came out of his cabin around lunchtime. He put a smile on his face and did his best to act like he was okay. He avoided eye contact with Annabeth and talked with Nico and Jason as if nothing ever happened. They glanced at each other here and there but smiled and enjoyed their time with Percy.

After lunch, Annabeth came over. "Hey, can we talk?" She asks softly, sitting next to Percy. He closes his eyes for a moment before looking at her.

"Everything's fine, Wise Girl. I'm sorry about earlier," He says with a soft smile. She gazes at him before taking his hand. Percy looked at their intertwined hands before looking up at Annabeth. She was wearing a long-sleeved turtle-neck shirt with a light jacket over it. Because fall was creeping in, it had gotten cooler in the camp.

"Percy, it wasn't your fault," She says softly, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. "You can always talk to me, okay? I love you, Seaweed Brain." Percy squeezed her hand and kisses her cheek before getting up.

"I love you too, Wise Girl," he says with a smile. "I'm going to go see Will," He waves and jogs off, heading to the med bay. "Will?" Percy calls as he walks in. "Will, are you here?"

Will comes walking over, his lab coat over his grey scrubs. "Oh, hey, Perce. Glad to see you're doing better," He says with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, right, uh, I was wondering if you had any more of that sleeping medicine? I've had trouble sleeping the last few days," He says with a convincing smile. Will simply raised an eyebrow.

"You mean the one that you tried to overdose on?" He asks, crossing his arms. Percy rubs the back of his neck.

"Yeeeah, I get that what I did was super messed up and you should never trust me with anything again but I promise that I'm doing better. I don't know why I did that. Please, Will? I've heard poor sleep is bad for someone's healing," he says, crossing his arms as well.

Will sighs. "You always know what to say. Yeah, I have some more. Let me grab it," Will walks over to the supply closet, back to Percy. Percy reached over and silently grabbed a scalpal and slid it into his sleeve. Will comes back over with a pill bottle. "Now, only one a night, you hear me? And try to get sleeping on your own," he handed the bottle to Percy.

"Yeah, one a night, got it. Thanks, Will. You're a lifesaver," Percy says, hopping to his feet. "See ya around," He says before leaving. Percy walks to his cabin and sets the bottle down. He hides the scalpal under his mattress and looked around. "Looks like we're doing this," He says softly. 

'The sooner the better.' The voice says.

Percy sighed and went about his normal schedule for the rest of his day. After dinner, everyone huddled around the campfire and sang some songs led by a few Apollo kids. Percy sat next to Annabeth and Jason, Piper, Leo, and Nico sat with them. When the fire started dying down and everyone began getting tired, the campers called it a night and headed back to their respective cabins.

Percy walked Annabeth to the door of Cabin Six. "Why thank you, good sir," Annabeth says with a playful bow. Percy chuckles, bowing as well.

"T'was my honor, your highness," the couple laughs and Annabeth wraps her arms around Percy, hugging him close.

"I love you, Percy," she says softly, laying her head on his chest. Percy wraps his arms around her waist.

"Love you too, Annabeth. Now, head inside before you catch a cold," he says with a soft smile. Annabeth giggles a little and nods. She wraps her arms around Percy's neck and kissed him before ruffling his hair and heading inside. Percy watched her go and when the door was shut he jogged to Cabin Three.

Percy got to the cabin and shut the door. He walked over to his bunk and lifts the mattress. He grabs the scalpel and sat down on the bed, looking at his reflection in the shiny metal. "I don't think I should do this..." he mumbles quietly.

'Aw, come now. Don't be a coward. Do what's best for your family, for you. Everyone will be better off when the burden of knowing you is gone.'

Percy sniffles and nods. "O-okay," he says quietly. He set the blade down on the nightstand and grabs a pen and some paper off of the table. He scoots over to sit next to the window and stared out the window before writing.

When he was done he folded it up nicely and laid it on the nightstand and gently laid his camp necklace over it. He picks the scalpel up and begins pacing, not quite sure what to do.

He looks in the mirror and his eyes widened slightly at what looked back. Percy saw heavy bags under his eyes, a bony body, and in place of his usual bright, sea-green eyes there were two murky green orbs staring back at him.

Percy looked away and sat down on the floor, looking out the window and up at the moon as he pulled his sleeves up. He sat with his knees to his chest for a while and when the small alarm clock on his nightstand read midnight, he takes a deep breath and grips the handle of the scalpel.

"I'm sorry, Annabeth. My Wise Girl. I just can't do it anymore. I hope you'll forgive me," he says before pressing the blade against the skin on his wrist and dragging it through his skin as hard as possible, letting out a scream of pain.

Hiiii!!! Almost done! Enjoy!