rearranging hearts

chapter two

". . . it's hard to leave us in the past . . ."

—Meant To Be,
Ber and Charlie Oriain

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Cheer season is probably the worst part of the year.

This whole thing kind of sucks, if she's being honest. Ashley Waters is a low budget school already, but their cheer squad is subpar and all extra money goes towards the football team. Her uniform is one that the coach had ordered from a surplus store, the iron-on logo slightly off center.

The ponytail doesn't help. Neither do the ugly white shoes that Jade insists they buff to perfection before every game like anyone is looking at their feet. Sang wears them both anyways because she's too far in to back out now.

Karen is sitting on the bench in front of her. The locker room is mostly empty at this point. She's trying up the laces of her sneakers, skin still wet from a shower. They played volleyball during gym class, and Sang's wrists ache from when she hit the ball the wrong way.

"Aren't you supposed to be gone by now?" Karen asks. Her hair had grown out a little over the summer. It was in a brown pixie cut last year, but now it's brushing the tops of her ears.

Sang is pretty sure that they're friends. There has never been any kind of definitive conversation about it, but Karen has her phone number and she used to give Sang half of her lunch when Marie would forget to pick up groceries, so it has to count for something.

She shrugs. "Tryouts don't start for another five minutes. Jade does everything, anyways. I just have to sit there and watch."

"Why don't you skip then?"

"Coach would probably kick me off of the team. It's mandatory."

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

Maybe. The cheer squad is like a safety net. It gives her something to do after school and a place to sit during lunch. And with people from her past showing up, Sang wants every distraction that she can get.

She sighs, shoving her backpack into one of the lockers. "It's my last year. I might as well stick with it, you know? A couple more months can't hurt."

Karen bites her tongue, but Sang can see it written all over her face. Neither of them say anything more about it. There's no point in trying to defend her decision. Realistically, she knows that dropping the cheer team wouldn't have that many consequences. She could find a new lunch table, pick up some more shifts at the grocery store, and still list it as an extracurricular on her college applications. But she's been doing this for so long that she doesn't want to find out what life could be like without it.

(The guidance councilor at her middle school said that she had trouble with change. Sang had assumed that it was just another one of those pre-scripted lines that they always fed her, but now she's beginning to think that he might have been right.)

Her phone clatters on the bench. Sang leans over, squinting at the screen.

Jade: you coming or what?
- 3:05 pm.

Sang muffles a groan. "I've got to go. See you tomorrow?"

Karen doesn't say anything, but mock-salutes her in response.

Football tryouts are already in full swing by the time Sang reaches the field. Coach Hardyng is running the boys through laps, but Sang spots Rocky sitting on the bleachers with Jay, scrolling through his phone. The sun is beating down on the pitch, unrelenting, and she can already feel sweat start to dot her hairline.