Secret Letter - Jaywon

Bus Ride

Jungwon heard someone knocking on the door.

"Jungwon hyung, I really need to go to the bathroom before leaving the dorm, please hurry" said Niki.

Jungwon sighed. I didn't want to go. He wanted to stay there, in the bathroom, separated from the world.
Yesterday, they had celebrated Heeseung's birthday, and even though he had a great time with his friends, his mind was focused on the letter.

At night, as he couldn't sleep, he had taken the letter with him and spent a few hours in the living room, reading it over and over.

Why does it have to happen like that?

"Jungwon please" shouted Niki.
"I'm going out, I'm going out" finally replied Jungwon.

He looked at his reflection, his eyes were puffy. He sighed and left the bathroom, while Niki ran into it.

Jungwon went to the entrance hall, meeting the members. Almost everyone was ready to go, except for Niki and Heeseung who were missing.

"Niki is in the bathroom, I'll go check on Heeseung" said Jungwon, turning back.

He walked to the bedroom and found the oldest putting his socks, half asleep.
"Heeseung hyung, everyone's waiting, we should be going now" he said gently, touching his friend's arm.
Heeseung raised his eyebrows and looked at Jungwon, surprised. He stared at Jungwon's red and puffy eyes for a second, but decided not to talk about it.

The oldest grabbed his coat and they left the room together.

-

Enhypen was in the bus, headed to a secret location. The staff had announced they would be undergoing a membership training in order to become a better team.

The boys were really excited and enjoyed playing several games against the staff during the trip. The games' prizes were food, so they showed motivation to do well.

Jungwon was sitting on the back of the bus, in the middle left seat. Jay was sitting in the front, on the right, which meant that Jungwon could easily look at him whenever he wanted.

When it was Jay's turn to play, Jungwon caught himself admiring the blonde's laugh or the way he got angry when they didn't win.

Jungwon, don't. You have to stop doing that.

-

The bus finally stopped and they ate sweet and spicy dakkbokkeumtang together. They enjoyed every bite of the meal they had won by playing games together. Once they were finished, the staff allowed them to discover the cabin they would be staying at for the whole week-end.

It was simple, but spacious. The ground floor had a kitchen, a living room, a toilet, and a small room for two people, whereas the first floor had two rooms, one for two and one for three people and a huge bathroom.

"You'll be staying here for three days and two nights" explained the staff. "You may choose your rooms and enjoy the afternoon together, while we prepare your evening activity."

"Really? We can choose the rooms?" shouted Sunoo, excited.
"How should we choose?" asked Sunghoon.
"Maybe we should rock paper scissor it?" suggested Heeseung.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors" they shouted together without waiting any further.

They simultaneously looked at the other members' hands, to see with whom they would sleep. Jungwon and Sunoo had both showed rock, Niki and Heeseung paper, and Sunghoon, Jake and Jay scissors.
"It's settled then" said Sunoo, smiling.

The separated into their groups. Jay, Jake and Sunghoon had to be upstairs, as they had the three beds room, but the other two groups still had to decide on which floor they would stay. Sunoo demanded to be upstairs, where the bathroom was, but Niki also wanted it. They did another round of Rock Paper Scissors, and Niki won. Sunoo tried to bargain by making a cute sad face, but the maknae resisted successfully.

Finally, Jungwon and Sunoo entered their bedroom. It had two beds on each side of the room, a big closet and a window.
"Do you want the bed next to the window?" asked Sunoo.
"You can take it hyung" replied Jungwon, smiling at him.
"Thank you" he replied, making a heart with his fingers.

Sunoo started unpacking, taking out of his backpack several bottles of vitamin pills.
"You know" he started, as he was putting his clothes inside the closet. "I'm still upset about the upstairs room."
"I knew you would be" laughed Jungwon. "Don't worry, the bathroom isn't that far away."
"I guess you're right" he replied, still pouring.

"What kind of activity do you think we will have tonight?" asked Jungwon, folding one of his shirts and putting it inside the wardrobe.
"Something we play as a team I imagine, but I don't have any idea of what." replied Sunoo, looking at Jungwon.

-~

After everyone had unpacked, the members decided to go out and explore the surroundings.
The cabin had a huge garden and was surrounded by a forest.

Jake and Niki started playing football and Jay decided to be their referee.
Jungwon saw him run with Niki and smiled in his head.

Does he like to be the referee so he can shout?

Sunghoon suggested they could walk a bit in the forest and the rest of the members agreed. Jungwon was in front of them, so he missed the head signs the three idols gave to each other behind him.

"It's pretty cool here isn't it!" started Heeseung, putting his arm on Jungwon's shoulder.
"It is! I haven't walked in the forest for so long" replied the young man.
"This weekend will be a great opportunity to grow closer to each other, I'm looking forward to it" said Sunoo.
"And solve problems if we have some" added Sunghoon.

This was the moment the three young men were waiting for. Heeseung looked at Jungwon and saw that his expression had changed. He discreetly nodded at the two others.

"Sunghoon, what's that?" said Sunoo out loud, pointing at something invisible and made up. "Let's go check."

They went away, leaving Jungwon alone with the oldest member.

"Won, are you alright?" the latter asked gently.

Jungwon looked at his shoes. He wanted to talk about Jay, but didn't have the courage.

"I'm upset hyung" he said, finally looking at Heeseung.
"Do you want to talk to me about it?" asked the oldest.
"After I-Land ended, I realized that we can't go back now. We're going to debut soon and we won't have normal lives anymore. Everything we do is public. What we say can influence other people" explained Jungwon.
"How does it make you feel?" asked Heeseung.
"Pressured" simply replied Jungwon. "I really want Enhypen to do well, and I'm scared to mess up our chance."

"I understand why you're worried. But you know that we are all good at what we do, and I'm sure it will all work out well" said Heeseung in a calm voice. "You're going to be fine."
"It's funny because I was almost eliminated in I-Land and then I ranked first in the finale, thanks to the fans. So I really feel like I should be perfect now. I owe it to them" added Jungwon in a whisper.

"Jungwon. You're not perfect, but that's why the fans love you! They saw how passionate you are and how hard it was for you to be so close to elimination. They love you because you kept fighting for your dream" replied Heeseung.

"You really think so?" asked Jungwon, looking at him.
"I do. Don't worry about all that, I'm sure we won't disappoint Engene" added Heeseung with a bright smile.

Jungwon smiled back at him, reassured.