Secret Letter - Jaywon

Sweet headache

They were once again free to do whatever they wanted during the rest of the afternoon. However, they were tired from their hike, so they decided to watch a movie to together in the living room.

Jay managed to sit next to Jungwon. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened during the morning, and wanted to be close to Jungwon again. He didn't plan on doing anything that could be considered suspicious though, not in front of everyone at least.
They turned the tv on and started to watch the movie. However Jay wasn't concentrated on it. Something was bothering him, but he didn't know what.

Why am I feeling this weird?

He glanced at his left, and finally understood why. Jungwon looked like he was awkward from being next to him.

Just like before... Why would he lay next to me in the morning, almost kissing me and be like that only a few hours later? Does he regret spending time with me?
Can't believe we're back to this.
I thought he had changed his opinion...

Guess it was too good to be true.

Jay wanted to leave. He wanted to go back to his bed and be alone. He couldn't bear being in this situation again.

What more can I do for him to be comfortable around me? Does he know how hurtful it is for me?

Jay decided to leave the room without finishing the movie, but he didn't want anyone to follow him.
"Guys, I have a headache, I'm going to lay down a bit okay?" he announced.

He quickly got up and left, not noticing how Jungwon's eyes followed him.

~

Someone knocked on the door and opened the door a little.

Jungwon?

"Hey, I have some medicine if you want some" said Heeseung's voice.

Disappointed, but not surprised, Jay sat up.

"I'm okay, thanks" he replied, annoyed.
"Are you sure? Maybe you'd like a glass of water then?" suggested the oldest.

Jay sighed, but accepted. Heeseung sat next to him, with the promised glass of water.

"You missed the end of the movie, it was funny!" he said, trying to cheer Jay up.
"I'll see it later" replied Jay with a monotone voice.
"Sorry to ask again, but is everything okay?" asked Heeseung for the second time.

Jay waited a bit before answering.
"Remember what I told you about Jungwon?" he started. "This morning we... talked and it felt nice, like when we were in I-Land. But then during the day, he ignored me again. And during the movie, I was next to him and I felt it with my whole body. He didn't want me next to him. I just don't get it."

"Oh, I see" said Heeseung. He paused to think.

"You should talk to him about it" he added.
"Wouldn't it sound weird? I can't go to him and say: hey Jungwon, do I make you uncomfortable?" said Jay.
"Maybe not in those words, but you should consider talking with him still" confirmed Heeseung.

He got up and left the room, letting Jay think about it.

Jay laid in bed once again. He could hear the members laughing on the other side of the wall. At first, he had been sad about Jungwon, but as the minutes passed, he started to feel angry.

Why would he play with me like that? He knows how I feel about him. It's just cruel. He made me believe it was possible and changed his mind a few hours later.

~

Jay got out of the room to eat the evening meal with the members. He didn't talk much, as he was busy overthinking. The other members noticed how silent he was, but they thought it was because of his "headache", so they didn't worry too much about it.
As soon as he finished his meal, he got up, did his dishes and went straight to his room again, ignoring the members laughing together.