I'm (Y/N). I'm a 22-year-old cat-boy, and I'm going through a sexuality crisis.
Yeah, yeah, I know you're thinking "oh, so you just figured out you like men?" Wrong. I've always liked men, so that's not the problem. The problem is a little more complicated. Let me explain.
My first love was a girl. We were childhood best friends, if not a little more than best friends. Her name was Happstablook and my platonic love for her developed into a crush.
This is where my crisis stems from.
I've identified as bisexual because of her for a large portion of my life, but I'd never been able to feel anything for a different girl before. I'd been hesitant to call myself gay because what I felt for Happ was real. It haunts me at night.
I had known Happstablook since we were young. At least, since I was young—to be clear, ghosts don't age the same as other monsters, and I was merely a boy.
Nonetheless, we were very, very good friends. We would spend days at a time together. It was hard to tell the time underground, but we had a general concept of time.
Back in the day, we would go on long "walks" through Waterfall, race snails with her cousin Napstablook, and sing a LOT of karaoke. The dump was full of music CDs so we went scavenging there weekly for fun human stuff that would fall down. It was like shopping, but for free, but most of it was bad.
Either way, I enjoyed her company and she enjoyed mine.
Once she started meeting with Alphys, though, things changed. It had been several years since we met meaning that it hurt more when we started hanging out less and less; she began to lock herself in her home by herself.
I was worried, until one day she found me at my house. She seemed excited. We hadn't seen each other in days and suddenly she's here feeling good, so I felt a little jealous, but I'd hear her out.
"I have a body, Whiskers!" she exclaimed the second I opened the door, tears in her eyes. The nickname made me smile. "Oh my stars, I'm gonna have a body!" I could tell that she was very emotional.
"Woah, woah," I breathed, holding my heart. Is that why she was avoiding me and hanging out with that monster from Hotland? "Hey, slow down. A body?" I was starting to tear up too at the thought. "That's amazing, Happ, I'm so happy to hear that."
Happstablook reached out to try to touch me, but her hand phased through my shoulder. She looked down and smiled slightly. "I'll finally be able to hug you."
I felt my cheeks heat up at the thought, and it brought a grin to my face. Maybe we could even kiss, I thought silently. "Don't get me excited, I've wanted to hug you forever!" We both giggled. "Seriously, though, can I see the body?"
She looked away awkwardly. "Well, uh, it's not actually done. It won't BE done for a while." She turned back towards me with a hopeful look. "But my friend Alphys will make me look fabulous!"
In hindsight, I don't think I could even imagine how "fabulous" her body would be, but I digress.
I still look back on that moment and wonder where the years went. Despite that conversation, she still spent less and less time with me until at one point her calls stopped coming. I missed her, truly, but she must have been busy having fun with her new body.
It's not like I wasn't happy for her, of course I was! I just want closure. I want to escape this sexuality crisis but it won't happen until I see her.
I've called her again, but I always get the same answer. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service." It's a shame, but I don't know what I expected from a number I haven't called in many years.
I shook my head, brought back to the present by the hair salon coming into view. It's no use reminiscing on something like this. That was in the past before we came up to the surface. I work as a hairdresser and makeup artist in a locally famous but small salon near the new Mettaton Resort that has only recently been built near Mount Ebott. Nights here get busy before Mettaton's shows because people want to look their best for the first and frankly the only celebrity monster.
Mettaton made my heart flutter. He was a hot celebrity, so it was obvious that he had some control over my heart, but he was my celebrity crush.
It was a little embarrassing how much I liked him.
Nonetheless, I threw open the door and greeted the receptionist before heading to the back room to grab my apron.
Tonight was specifically special because I was leaving work early to go to one of Mettaton's shows. I was nervous, obviously, but my human friend Frisk is coming to act as a buffer. Frisk is one of Mettaton's friends, though, so that somehow made me even more anxious. What if he said hi to Frisk and I was with them? What if he acknowledged me? I could almost pass out at the thought.
I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. It's fine. I'm hot as fuck. He'll definitely fall in love with me.
That was even more anxiety inducing. It made my knees shake and I almost lost my balance. Grabbing onto the table in the back room for stability, I stared deep into the mirror until my face didn't look like a face anymore. I could do this. I just had to make it until the end of the day.
I found myself checking the clock by my station very often during the day. One of my last customers, a human with purple hair, pointed it out to me. "You seem nervous, penny for your thoughts?" they asked curiously.
I shook my head, not fully paying attention. "A-ah, I'm sorry." I clipped up part of their hair to trim underneath. "I'm just thinking about the show tonight down the street."
"Mettaton?" they mused, clicking their tongue. "You going to see him?"
"Yeah," I answered simply. "He's my idol."
They hummed in acknowledgement because they couldn't nod. "He's pretty cool. I heard he's had a couple scandals, though."
"Allegedly. They're just rumors," I defended, snipping off more hair as I talked. "Those don't matter to me anyway. He's a single monster, he can do what he wants."
"Is he, though?" They raised their eyebrows.
I went silent for a second. "It's none of my business." The thought made me a little jealous, but nothing worth addressing for longer than a second or two.
"Right, of course." They didn't press further and their haircut resumed as usual.
Once it was done and they thanked me with a hug, they told me, "Enjoy the concert, but don't get your hopes up. Everyone loves Mettaton." With a sweet smile, they paid me a 20% tip and were off.
I clenched and unclenched the money in my hand with a blank expression. They were right, but I didn't want to think about Mettaton right now.
I finished up the last customer just in time to leave me two hours to prepare and pick up Frisk. I tried to do a flamboyant blue makeup look to contrast Mettaton's equally flamboyant pink. I dressed in a thrifted sweater that was too big for me and black skinny jeans. To top it off, I clipped a white soul necklace around my neck to match my monster soul.
Before long, I was in the car with Frisk sitting next to me. "Aren't you so excited?" they gushed, grabbing their cheeks.
"Yeah, of course I am," I answered with a small smile, reaching over to turn on the radio. It was playing one of Mettaton's songs which only heightened my anxiety.
They nudged my arm. "You'll be fine."
I wish they were right.
YOU ARE READING
Strike a Pose (Mettaton x Reader)
Hayran KurguHappstablook, my childhood first love, and Mettaton, my celebrity crush. What's the difference? One caused my crisis and the other solved it. Male!Reader, LGBTQ+ themes (of course), Transgender Mettaton