Theres Always a Catch. (Austin Mahone One DirectionFAN FIC)

Secrets.

*** Abbys POV ***

I dont want these girls to judge me for my past. I was always let down as a kid by the ones I loved, so why should I let these girls get away? Theyre the closest things I have to sisters.

There are many times I've wanted to tell them. Tell them the mistakes I made and regret. But how could I? We were now in a group together and fighting so early in the competition could get us eliminated too fast. Or worse, they could just make another solo act. Which is something I didnt want, no matter how much of a dream it was.

It was hard. For everyone to see me as a person with no mistakes. The girl who is skinny, has good grades, the iPhone, the voice. But I hurt on the inside. I have a past that a normal person, wouldnt normally mend from. But I did and, even though I thought it would make people think Im strong, it distanced them. Farther and farther till there was no where for them to run.

I hide my scars well, as well as I never speak my secrets. I hide the past as if it was a forbidden object. When people ask how my parents are, I say theyre 'Great.' But hiding dead parents is hard. Especially because Im the only one who doesnt have parents to come and support me like other people. I dont want people to know I live in a foster home. Who would!? Or that my brother lost his life in immediate medical attention.

5 years ago, I was 10. My brother just turned 6 and we were swinging on a swing at the park. My mom and dad were sitting on the bench across the way. I pushed my brother since his feet didnt touch the ground yet. A car came around a couple times and I noticed better than anyone else. As a 10 year old, you dont think much of it. But if I were older, a black car with tinted windows and a covered up license plate wouldve made quite the effect. On the 6th time around, the window rolled down a quarter of the way and a gun was brought out. I ducked and held my brother. Unfortunately, in attempt to be a grown up, he shielded me from a bullet coming towards us. He was shot in the leg and fell on top of me. I held my bleeding brother, watching his eyes roll back by the minute. I screamed for help, but it felt like ages until someone actually came. We were rushed to the hospital where they took him in to an opperation. A half an hour later, the doctor had come to inform my family, my brother lost a significant amount of blood and would not be able to recover.

After that day, I remember hearing my mom and dad fighting alot. Slammed doors and tires screeching. One night my dad was drunk and left the house after an argument with my mom. He told me he loved me and kissed my forehead and to never worry. I didnt know what he meant until my mom came in to tell me my dad was run off the road on a winding hill. He died on impact and blunt force trauma to the spine, brain, and chest.

My mom blamed herself everyday. She would drink to hide her sorrows, not knowing how much it hurt. I was 12 when she finally left me. She left me a note:

'My Dearest Abby, I have gone to join your brother and father in the place that is Heaven. I am sorry for hurting you and being a cruel mother. I abandoned you before my time had come. I hated for you to have to see me suffer. But now mommy's not suffering anymore. I hurt myself before I could hurt you. I have left your auntie's number on the fridge. Call her and tell her I am gone and read her this note. She will understand, I hope one day, you will learn to understand as well. I love you baby girl. Dont forget that as long as you live. Love, Mommy.'

With that, I found her in her room covered in blood. She had slit her own throat. I had been used to people leaving me. But, I cant let these girls leave me. My scars I have myself are from abandonement and being raped too many times to count. I would be adopted, raped, returned, and repeated. I finally got adopted by a great family and they put me in school, but after a while they gave me back saying it was too much to handle. I was taken off the adoption list and stayed in the orphanage until I can live on my own. Now Im a sophomore in high school with grades that could get me in to Harvard Law if thats what I wanted.

But I didnt. I started singing as a recovery from the pain. Soon I turned happy again but I will never love the same. I will forever hide my secrets from the girls. Until I knew it was time to trust them.

My secrets are my secrets. They hurt and keep me in pain from the memory. But one day Ill live to love the past that made me the popstar. The strongest one out there.

Im the "Little Girl with the Biggest Secrets."