𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗗• 𝗦. 𝗞𝗔𝗡𝗚

𝑡 𝑒 𝑛

-I love you, please hate me pt.1

[K a n g   S a e - b y e o k]

All night all I could think of was the fire, how it crackled. How it might've felt to be burned to ashes. How your skin would melt and perfectly sculpture into the floor. And how the dirt may stain your skin as it turns to flakes. And how your screams would reach limitless places yet never be heard.

I remember feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks, the faint chatter of the town as I started to cry. How it felt as I covered my palm over Cheol's eyes. How that burn in my chest slowly grew as the fire rose further into the sky. And how I tried to suffocate my cries as I wrapped a firm arm around my torso. But nothing could stop it, nothing could stop the pain. The constant reminders of the same things. It was an endless amount of pain that I wasn't prepared for. No one ever is. But this once I wished I was.

"You alright?" 66 asks once more. Her voice raspy as she rubs my shoulder in slow circles. Her hair dawned her shoulders as it carves the structure of her face in a exemplary way. Her amber eyes brightened at the mere shadow of the sun. The faint pink of her lips stained in my mind. "Yes,"  The sheets stick to my skin as I pull it off my body. My hair stuck onto my face as it pools around my jawline. Kissing the cheekbones of my face as I brush long fingers throughout my hair.

"Here, you can use this." She hands me a small hairbrush, the bristles stuck over head. "I got it from the chemist this morning." Her cheeks rise as she lets out a puff, kicking her jeans off-- slipping her tank top over her head. I waste no time to look away. My sudden interest on the faint patterns on the wall keeping me occupied. "You... you can't just get changed in front of someone like that." I hear her snicker, the silence held for a moment. "It's nothing you haven't seen."

"What?" I ask. She leans over the sink. Watering her face with tiny splashes over her glass skin. "When we got tied up and thrown on the road? Remember? We were just in underwear and bras. So technically you've already seen me half naked. So it shouldn't matter as much." Her hands meet with her hips. Tilting her head up at me with an amused smile.

"What? You're pink." Her laugh melodic, and her smile alluring. "I'm not. It's just it's really hot in here." Again, she just laughs in response slipping her sox over her quaint feet.

"So, where are we meeting your brother?"

:::::::::::::::::::

Cheol sat down on the other side of 66. His lips pouted as he stared down at his feet, refusing to look up at me. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted ice cream." I hand him the ice cream, waiting for a response. Even so he still stayed quiet.

66 gave a me a pointed look. Her expression of empathy as she tapped me on the shoulder. Gazing down at him. 'go hug him, he looks sad.' she mouthed. Her ice cream slowly melting onto her fingers as she wipes it against my jumper. 'you're a bitch' I mouthed back throwing the tissue back towards her.

I don't think I hate 66, but she made me question. 'Why do I keep her with me?' It's already hard on my own, let alone me and Cheol. And to let someone in again is something I never found myself doing. Mainly because I hadn't thought of pointless relationships or school girl crushes like before. She wasn't a crush or a friend. But a handy companion. I guess.

"What happened to your face? Did you fight with your friends?" He still stays calm, looking down at his feet just like before.

"If you keep silent like that, my friend and I are going to leave." Silence. I grab ahold of 66 wrist, pulling her up. She looks at Cheol one more time giving me an insistent look. "I don't want to stay here. You said you'd bring Mum soon.  You said we'd all live together if I just wait a month." 66 stays standing. Her weak smile brings a pint of comfort to me as I sit down next to Cheol. His eyes watering as his lips quiver. And it comes back again. That burning feeling. That feeling as if I'm turning to ashes as it tugs at my heartstrings like i'm a puppet. He sniffles, wiping his  nose with the wrist of his sweater.