𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗗• 𝗦. 𝗞𝗔𝗡𝗚

𝑡 𝑤 𝑒 𝑛 𝑡 𝑦 𝑠 𝑒 𝑣 𝑒 𝑛

- just let go, it's not different from before. Trust me.

[K a n g S a e - b y e o k]

You know when someone has expected their fate once they start talking in past tense. And for some reason every time I hear Ryung utter I used to or was the veins in my heart ache with a certain pierce. And aura, a consistency so thick it feels as if my throat is slowly tightening on my breaths.

"Why don't we just keep talking?" She suggest. Drawing small lines along the dirt. "We have to play a game remember." My voice not reciprocating with the whispers in my head. Hearing as they echo and screech against the goosebumps behind my neck, crying and sobbing wishful thoughts into sweet nothings.

"Yeah but I wanna hear your voice, not just short sentences. We'll play in the last five minutes we have left? In the meantime we should make up a game we should play." There's no pauses between her sentences. I can't find a pause or a sigh. Not a moment of hesitation or length of sadness in her tone. Just a sentence. Prolonged and simple. And yet simple still hurts.

"What do you want to talk about then?" I ask, trying to restart the conversation we had left off many seconds ago. "If you could describe me in three words, which words would you use?" She asks. Tilting her head to the side as she finishes the pointed line of the sun rimmed drawings she had created in the dirt.

"Annoying, whiny, idiotic." Ryung rolls her eyes. Smoothing her tongue on the inside of her cheek. "Answer properly this time?" She says. Hitting my arm a little more softer then the other times.

"Fine. Pretty, independent, confident."

FLASHBACK:

She fixed her shirt, smoothing the crinkles within it. Trying to iron it out with her palms. Amber strands withdrew her skin. So perfect and tan. The small duplex on each cheek dented into her cheekbones as she flashes a kind smile. Caring and honest, with the prettiest pearly white teeth in nearly a lined arrays.

She bats her eyelashes and I feel my heartstrings pull. Knotting and tying one another tighter and tighter. Burning the bloodstream in each vein until it's almost feels like heartburn.

"I know I'm pretty but you don't have to make it so obvious." She replies. Hanging her fingers on the collar of her shirt. Skimming it down between her fingers as she smooths her thumbs off it's corners. "I wasn't." She just laughs shaking her head with a gentle nod. She's confident, not egotistical. There's a difference and a very fine difference between the two topics. She knows it's factual whereas having a big ego it's only opinionated by one person.

"Sure. I'm going to the markets to get us some food. If you don't wanna come don't come, I can handle myself." She flips her Swiss Army knife between the left and right hand. Swiping the blade in a perfect 360 circle before catching it right back into the other palm.

If all three words were a person I'm certain 66 would classify for all of them. Pretty, independent and confident.

END OF FLASHBACK:

The subtle fold in my lips barely evident. Keeping my smile lines in a downward frown. Keeping the urge to laugh at the light rose on her cheeks.

"What do you think about me?" And she takes a breath like she's been planning this for awhile and I know she's going to make this a sentimental experience on purpose.

"I think your independent, reliable, and somewhat trusting" She plays with her nails. Lining them up against each other back and fourth as they clatter.

Her cheekbones defined into a strongly structured line. Lips breathing it settled breaths. Chest steadily rising and dropping.

"Why did you come here from the north?" Ryung asks. A question I somehow expected. One that I have said in my head many time only to practise how I'd answer. "I thought it'd be better here." She drops her hands over her knees. Leaning closer to my face, analysing each crevice and roughened to smooth edge. "So? Is it better?"

The silence was enough of an answer. All she does is nod. Gulping down the rest of her words. "What about your family? Did they come with you?" She tries to start up the conversation again. One that I truely wish she'd drop. But instead I answer anyway. "Just my younger brother."

The thing about Ryung I hate the most, one: she can tell the plain emotion just through my expression, even if you put on none. She sees through me as if I was transparent through her pupils.

It's so easy for her, knowing went to stop. Or start another conversation. Steering her sentences into a whole different direction I'm with ease. Words rolling of the buds on her tongue. Dripping from her mouth like honey as she fills my ears with melodic idioms.

"I lost both my parents as well." The silence from my side enough of a hint. She knew, and she knew I didn't need to share any longer. "Myung was the only thing by my side. And somehow I dragged her down with the current along with me. It's so cliche isn't it?" She doesn't sound hurt. Not a crease in her voice. Not a dip in her tone. Just a monotone sentence with nothing but her.

She's the only thing keeping the things she really wants to say down her throat. Shoving it down her system until it chokes her.

The clock is slowly downing. Blood seeps deeply into the dirt. The dust slowly fading into a evident red until it reaches right in front of Ryungs feet. She watches carefully as it spreads further. To the point it's shadowing her figure,

"Mhm, it's scarlet red too."