The Journey

5. Harry & Snape

When Harry had left the office of the Headmistress, he felt lighter.  As if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.  And in essence, it had.  The abuse that Harry had endured for so many years had come to shape him into the man that he had become, and he had always carried it on his own.  He felt good shedding some of it off.  He didn't only have to fend off an evil motherfucker called Voldemort.  No, he had his "family" to contend with, he had the demands of his headmaster, the verbal abuse from Snape, and of course the endless insults from Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherins.  Who said life was going to be easy?

But, he thought walking back to his common room, that was going to change.  He had taken his time to write certain letters, letters that had meaning.  The shorter notes, he had written, and had asked a house elf to copy and deliver to certain people had been dealt with too.  He was busy packing a bag, and knew that he needed to leave before anyone woke up.  He didn't want to see the disappointment on their faces at him running away.  Well, more like running towards something actually, but they wouldn't know that.  He was sorry, but at the same time, he was not.  He was going to be ok.  They were all going to be ok.

He had sent an answer after speaking with Mcgonagall to the Head Owlrey, stating that his reply was yes, and would leave as soon as he was allowed.  There had been a portkey commissioned for him and Professor Snape, and when he walked towards the doors, he wondered when he would be seeing the halls and corridors of Hogwarts again.  He hoped soon.  Professor Snape had been told of what had been in the letter, and of Harry's response.  Horrified at what the boy had  been through, he offered is services immediately.  Professor Mcgonagall smiled at that, knowing that his hatred for the boy was only on the surface.

When he approached the doors, he greeted Professor Snape with a nod and said a silent thank you for your company.  The potions master tilted his head in response, not trusting his voice to speak just yet.  He had carried so much hate for Potter, for the mere fact that he looked like his father, not giving one iota about the fact the he was Lily's son too.  He had failed her.  In the beginning, Snape wanted to blame Harry for living and his mother dying, but after being told about his upbringing, he knew it had never been his fault.  It was Voldemort's fault and his alone.  He led Harry outside, and there on the bridge was an old rusted tin can.  It was their portkey.

They both touched it at the same time, and were transported to an Inn with the name of "The Sorta Bed".  Having checked in to their respective rooms, they agreed to meet for breakfast in the morning in the dining room, and start their journey after their stomachs were full.  This had Harry feeling apprehensive.  He never wanted a companion on his journey, but Professor Mcgonagall had said that for the sake of his own sanity, perhaps it would be better if, even for the first part of it, he had someone by his side.  After the first meeting, he could decide if he wanted to continue alone.

He relented, and when he heard it was Professor Snape, was quite warmed by the fact.  He knew that the potions master held no love for him, but was hoping in his heart that things were going to change for the better.  He had no one to spy for anymore, and he also knew that Snape had no family, other than the Malfoys.  Only the fact that Draco was his godson, so it stood to reason that, if they were to make amends, it would be for a better world.

They both collapsed into their beds, and for the first time in a very long time, Harry slept with no dreams and no nightmares.  As if his decision was pathing a new way for him, and the only way to do that was with light.  And lots of it.  He woke up feeling refreshed, and after having a hot shower, made his way down to breakfast.  He scanned the room, trying to see if he could see Snape anywhere.  When he did, he made his way towards the table, sat down and ordered a large coffee.

"Good  morning Professor", said Harry with a smile.

"Morning Potter", he replied.  "After breakfast we will start, yes?", he stated.  Harry knew that he had to make the best of the situation, and just nodded.  "Will you be with me throughout the morning?", he asked weakly.

Professor Snape looked at him, wondering how he could be so kind and humble after everything that he had been through.  He nodded but said, "If you want me gone, just say the word Potter".  Harry felt that he had to start somewhere.  After ordering their food, he took a sip of his coffee, and started speaking.  "Professor, I'm not sure what the Headmistress told you, if she even told you where we are going and why, and to be quite frank, I don't really care that you know, if you do in fact know.  If you are uncomfortable, then I will do this alone, which is what I think I need to do", he said.

Snape put down his fork and answered sternly, in the voice that Harry knew all too well.  "Potter, Minerva told me everything, and while I can't say that I am comfortable knowing, what I can tell you is that you will not face this alone.  I would like to teach those blasted muggles a thing or two on how to treat a child.  That being said, I know I was horrid to you.  I know that I blamed you for so long for Lily's death, and it pains me to say that I was wrong.  I hated you from the moment I learned of her passing.  I had wanted her to live and only her.  And while that may sound evil to you, she was the only one that ever loved me, and I was horrified to lose it.  To lose her.  But I see so much of her in you Harry, and it's not only your eyes.  She was kind just like you, she was amazing on a broom playing Quidditch, just like you.  She was good in her DADA class, just like you.  So, perhaps this journey of yours needs a companion, if only to tell you that you do matter.  I am truly sorry for everything that I put you through Harry".  

Snape knew that he had to ask forgiveness, to make it easier for Harry, and he meant every word, but continued at the shocked look on the Gryffindor's face.  

"You must remember I am a Slytherin and only do things that will benefit me, and hating you was one of them.  Blaming you was one of them, it made me feel better, it made me feel whole.  I will not deny that I was a bit jealous at you having friends, because I was.  So, in answer to your question, you will not be doing this alone, you will have me by your side, for as long as you need me.  I am not leaving you until you say you want me to".  

Harry was floored!  Professor Snape had apologized to him and what a revelation.  He would remember this conversation for years to come.  And he had called him Harry.  That is all he had ever wanted.  To be Harry, just Harry.  He raised his eyes, that were now brimming with tears, and whispered a thank you to Snape.  Knowing that it couldn't have been easy for the man, but so grateful that he was indeed his company to what lay ahead.  "Thank you Professor, that means a lot to me.  I haven't always been a grade A student, love to disobey the rules now and then, and  when trouble finds me, I usually partake in it.  A real menace in potions class, so thank you.  And I forgive you.  My mum would be proud of us you know", he finished with a smile.

Professor Snape snorted in laughter.  (Let it be known that Snape had never snorted in his life)  "Yes she would be.  Now eat, we have to leave", he said.  He felt lighter, he felt free.  He hadn't known what he was going to say to the boy, but now that he had said it, he was glad.  He remembered Minerva's words before he left last night - "Your childhood was horrid Severus, and Potter's even more so. Perhaps there is a kinship to be found in that, if you give each other a chance".

They finished their breakfast with a second cup of coffee, and after paying the bill, went to their rooms to collect their bags.  Whispering the words Reducio, they were made smaller to fit inside their pockets, and made their way onto the street to start their journey.  

A journey of freedom, a journey of forgiveness.  And if it hadn't been said before, Harry and Snape travelling together would be an enigma to those who saw them, for they knew that both men had immeasurable hate for each other.  If they only knew.