The Journey

10. Comfort

When Harry and Snape stepped out of the house it was dark.  As soon as Harry heard the door click shut, he dropped to his knees and wept.  He was so intent on forgiving them, and yes he had prepared himself mentally for it, but it had not been enough.  If he never saw them again, it would be too soon.  He threw back his head and prepared to shout out to the world a big fuck you for being so unfair.  Snape saw this and very quickly cast a silencing charm around him.  Knowing the anguish that Harry was going through, it was best to get it out of his system as soon as possible, and if screaming into the void did that, then hey.  Go with it.

Harry did indeed scream until his throat was raw, and his body was tired.  He was still shaking, convulsing with fatigue, anger and a small amount of relief.  Sobbing like a child, and still on his knees, he crossed his arms over his torso and fell forward.  Snape felt sorry for him, if not for the fact that he had to come back to the place that held so many bad memories for him, but what it would do to his mental state.  Mind healing was something that a lot of them went through after the war.  But not Harry.  He was strong, driven and determined, so he probably had every right to lose it right now.

"Potter", said Snape after a while.  And Harry just kept on crying, gut wrenching sobs leaving his body, and rocking himself as to restore calm.  He put his hand on Harry's shoulder and said again softly, "Potter.  Get up".

Harry listened, and rose up from his place on the grass, not caring what he looked like, not knowing what was going to happen moving forward.  All he had wanted was love.  Was that too much to ask.  He had found it in his friends, but he wanted more.  Someone who would love him, for the broken soul that he was, someone who loved him for Harry.  

"Sorry......" stuttered Harry.  "No need to apologize Potter, those people are monsters.  Don't tell anyone I said this, but I am proud of you.  Are you all right?", he asked.  Harry nodded, yes thank you.  Slowly, they turned away from the house and started walking towards the road.  When they couldn't see the house anymore, Harry stopped walking and turned towards Professor Snape and spoke with a thick dry voice.

"Thank you for being with me Professor.  I need to continue on my own, but if you could please do me a favor?", he asked.  Snape didn't want to leave, but he knew he had to.  That Potter valued his private time and needed to be alone.  He could call on him when he felt the need to.

Snape tilted his head in response, and agreed to do whatever was asked.  "Go back to Hogwarts.  Tell my friends that I'm okay.  And please, please take care of Draco.  He is going to need you.  Promise me", he said, still crying.  Snape had a lump in his throat, but answered none the less that he would do this.

Harry hugged him in thanks, and was blown away when the hug was returned.  They had come a long way in such a short time, it was almost alien.  Whispering the words again, just to make sure that the message was received, he begged again, "Please take care of Draco, tell him I will be back soon".  When he stepped out of the hug he could see the confusion on the face of his potions master.  Wiping his eyes, he simply said that he cared.  He had always cared.

But Snape knew there was more to the story.  "I've already said I would Potter, now go and be safe", he replied.  Harry nodded, and with box in hand, he apparated away to be alone with his thoughts.  Snape was left reeling.  The anger coming from Potter was terrifying and he was sure it wasn't even at full blast yet.

The audacity of these people.  He had noticed how after they had stepped out of the house, Potter had not once looked at it again.  As if he wanted to cleanse his soul from a darkness that had consumed him.  He was glad and happy that he has assisted him, but he had to do something else.  Something that Harry Potter would never do, or even think of doing.  Turning back he started his walk.

Ringing the doorbell again, it was answered this time by Dudley.  When he saw who was at the door, he tried to close it.  But Snape had magic, and all they had was stupidity.  "Where is your mother?", he sneered.

Opening the door wider, he saw her standing in the passage.  He looked at them both with disgust, disdain and a whole lot of hatred.  "None of you realize how important Harry Potter is to our world, and so I am only going to say this once.  If I ever find out that you try to contact him again, or god forbid ask for his help with anything, I will curse you.  And don't think I won't".  He looked at Lily's sister and smirked as if he knew something they didn't, "Your son here might end up having a magical child, so....have fun with that", and he turned his back on them so fast, you could almost feel a slight breeze.

He apparated back to Hogwarts, and went straight to his room.  He was a mess.  He was a pathetic, heap of gooey mess, and he hated it.  This is why it was better to not have feelings.  This is why he had never let himself feel, because it hurt so goddam much.  How the hell did Potter handle it?  All that love and tears and feelings.  It sucked.  It was better to be cold and distant because then he could be in control of his own heart.  But it was profound that it would be Harry Potter to change his outlook.  The man had already changed their world, it seemed he was good at changing people too.

After collecting himself, he washed his face and sat in front of his fire and replayed the days events in his mind.  He and Harry would communicate with the Patronus charm, but he wouldn't bother him tonight.  The man needed rest and to be alone.  And they had agreed that Harry would contact him first anyway.  He wondered where the rest of his journey would take him.  Who else did he need to forgive?  Who else had hurt him that wasn't dead yet?  Who else had abandoned him when he had never deserved any of it?  Most importantly, who would be there to comfort him at his darkest hour?