The Journey

15. Confusion

"What the bloody hell is Potter trying to tell me"?", shouted Draco one morning after receiving his second letter.  They were all seated in the common room, shortly after breakfast.  It was the weekend, and so no classes.  Hermoine and Pansy raised their heads to look at him, while Ron and Blaise were talking about Quidditch.

"What are you on about?", asked the redhead.  

Draco sighed, rolled his eyes and answered.  "Every time Potter writes to me, he ends his letter with something stupid.  And I have no idea what the hell it means".

"What does he say?", asked Hermoine kindly.

"When you have a down day, look up", replied Draco.  "Stupid Gryffindor", he whispered.  Hermoine looked at Pansy, smiled with a knowing look in her eye.  She was privy to information that nobody else was.  "Maybe it just means, if you have a bad day, keep your chin up, it will get better", she suggested.

"That's stupid", he said again.  "What does your letters say, the same thing?", he asked.  Hermoine, Draco and Pansy had all received letters from Harry, and had opened them immediately.  Shaking her head no, Hermoine turned to look at Pansy.  The Slytherin also said no.  Her letter was just a thank you, and he can't wait to come back, she shrugged.

Hermoine wasn't dumb.  Harry had been obsessed with Draco ever since fifth year, if he were being totally honest with himself.  Her and Harry had discussed it, and her advice to him was that he should tell him.  Even if he hates you more, and doesn't even welcome your friendship, at least you can sleep easy knowing that your heart will feel lighter because of it.  Harry had agreed, and was going to do just that.  Except he had received a letter that had changed the course of his year.

She knew in her heart what Harry was up to, and was proud that it was only her that knew his secret.  And she wasn't going to give it away by telling Draco exactly what it meant.  No, he would have to come to that realization on his own.  She smiled and said her letter was just to let them know he was okay, and would be back as soon as he could.

Draco was confused.  He had started getting feelings for the golden boy in fourth year, and would love to have told him how he felt, but that wasn't written in his future.  And so he kept those feelings hidden, buried deep down inside his heart, and would only admit to them when he was alone.  How he had wanted to be touched by Harry Potter.  How he would love him for the rest of his days.  He would love to have told him that.  

But fate had other ideas.  That fucking letter from those fucking muggles, messing up his fucking last year with Potter.  Jesus Christ, could they not just catch a goddamn break!!  He wanted answers, and he was going to write a lengthy letter to Potter, and ask what the hell he meant with those words.  He was going to tell him how he felt too, because he had a right to know.  If he knew Potter as well as he thought he did, Potter would probably hex his balls off.

He excused himself and told the others that he was going to answer the letter, and give Potter a piece of his mind.  They laughed at his choice of words, knowing that there was no malice, and thought to themselves that his threat didn't even sound like a threat.  "Of course you are", sneered Blaise.  "Give Potter a piece of your mind Draco, make him quake with your sassiness", he laughed.

"Fuck off Blaise", he spat as he entered his dorm room.  Taking a seat at his desk, he pulled out a piece of parchment, a very expensive looking quill, and started to pen a letter to Potter.  After numerous attempts, and a huge amount of balled up parchment in the bin, he put his head on the desk and moaned, "I hate you Potter".  Draco wasn't sure how to address the letter, and the problem wasn't that he couldn't call him Harry, he just, well he couldn't call him Harry.  So he gave a heavy sigh, and started again.

Potter

Fine!  I accept your apology.  You still need to come back though, so I can do the same.  Yes, we Malfoys are able to apologize too.  *Insert picture of me rolling my eyes*

The first of many things you want to tell me?  Now I am intrigued.  Perhaps you should dunk your head in a bowl of ice water to make sure that you aren't losing whatever brain cells you have left Potter. 

Mercury orbs?!  Merlin Potter what is going on with you?  Seriously, I am confused.  And it takes a lot to confuse me, I might add because I am probably the most intelligent wizard you are ever likely to meet.  

Still not sure what down day, look up thing is about.  Perhaps another hint?

I have something to tell you too, so get your arse back here already, and no I will not put it on paper.  Just hurry up, I think Weasley wants to kill me, I keep winning at chess.

Malfoy

He read it over and over again, and was pleased.  He hoped Potter would write back soon, though.  Missing him was becoming annoying, and he had only so much tolerance when it came to insulting (not really) the other Gryffindorks.  Smirking, he called his owl, tied the letter to her leg, and sent her on her way.

When he reached the common room again, everyone was still in the same place he had left them.  "Letter finished Draco?", asked Pansy.  "Yes you silly bint", he replied.  "And?  Did you give Potter a piece of your mind?", she asked to taunt him.  Pansy wasn't stupid.  Draco was her best friend, and she knew.  Oh she knew.

"Of course I did.  He's going to regret saying stupid stuff to me", he sneered in a playful tone.  But in reality, Draco WAS confused.  What is it that Potter wanted to tell him.  And when he spoke of his mercury orbs to describe his eyes.  Did that mean that Potter liked him?  Was he messing with Draco, or was he sincere.  Oh well, have to wait and see what else Potter wanted to voice.

Warped with confusion, he sat and tried to read, but his focus was on a pair of emerald green eyes.  Eyes that he wanted to look into and get lost in.  He was so fucked.  And confused, let's not forget confused.

Draco had embraced his sexuality.  Where was the fun in flirting with Potter if he hadn't.  The golden boy didn't need to know, that every time he glared at Draco, it got him hard.  Oh boy, come home Harry, he thought.

Come home.