The Journey

21. The Love Letter

Harry decided to sleep in that morning, because he knew that it would be a long time before it would happen again.  Hearing a tap on the window, he opened his eyes slowly and turned his head towards the sound.  It was an owl, with a very tiny note attached to it's leg.

Sienna, sensing his emotions shift hissed softly, A love letter for you hatchling.  Harry scrambled out of bed, made a beeline to the window and thanking the owl, opened the letter with shaking hands.

Dear Harry

Then come back and tell me you big brute.

And I will tell you how I feel :)

love 

Draco

Love.  Draco had signed this letter with love.

Harry was besides himself with happiness.  Draco knew how he felt, and by all the gods, he felt the same.  He was so excited, but asked the owl to stay for just one more letter.  He also gave instructions to the owl that he should take his time delivering the note, or just accompany Harry on his journey back to Hogwarts, so that they could arrive at the same time.  Only once he was there, could he bring the note to Draco.

The owl hooted in understanding, and decided to wait for Harry to finish packing his things.  Harry took his time with arranging his suitcases, letting go of some things and holding onto others.  Like the leather bound diary of his mother.  He had decided he would open it when the time was right, and he knew it wasn't now.  He would just have to practice more patience, he thought with a smirk.

He wrapped it into an old shirt, so that it would stay safe, gave the room a last look, waved his hand for a quick clean, closed the door and left.  His journey to forgive was over, but he knew there was so much more that he needed to conquer.  Like the sassiness of Draco Malfoy.  The questions that he knew his friends would undoubtedly have, the stares at how much he had changed while he had been gone.

And he had been gone a long time.  34 days in total, and while Harry was pleased that it was over, he was also glad that Professor Mcgonagall had urged him to do it.  Laying the cross at other people's feet wasn't easy, but neither had it been easy to carry it.  It's not as if it was something that he had wanted to do, more of something that he had to do.  He had always followed his gut, and it hadn't failed him yet.  

Forgiving some like Wormtail was agonizing.  It had literally almost taken everything in him to not wake the man up and kill him again, but then he remembered how he had died.  To protect Harry.  He had been to where Voldemort's ashes had been scattered, and had told him that he understood why he had become what he had.  He had never known love.  Being conceived under a love potion, how could you?

He poured his heart out to those who had wronged him.  He even went to see Umbridge, and while he didn't really want to forgive her, he did.  And it made him a better man, because the more he forgave her, the more she grew ashamed.  The more she would try and apologize, but Harry silenced her.  He didn't want to hear it.  He was doing all of this for himself, not for anyone else.  And the outcome was satisfying.  He had one more thing to do, and he knew that this was going to be by far the most difficult of them all.

Asking forgiveness is not the same as giving it.  Yes, he had apologized to Draco for not taking his hand in first year.  But he had still not forgiven himself.  He had been rude to the blond man that day.  Granted, it was Draco's own fault, but that didn't make, what he said, right.  Two wrongs don't make a right, he had been taught.  And so it was that he found himself just outside of Hogsmeade.  He walked to the Three Broomsticks, in a glamour of course, paid for a room, and went inside.  

The owl that was holding onto Draco's letter was sitting on his windowsill, and when he saw what Harry was doing, his eyes went wide.  He had removed all of his clothes, except for his jeans and belt, and was standing in front of a mirror.  Arms wide open, like that of a cross, his head thrown back, he closed his eyes and tried to bring that memory to the forefront of his mind. 

Seeing the little boy, new to the wizarding world, standing next to a wide eyed Ron Weasley.  Draco approaching him, offering his hand.  Sneering at Ron because he had laughed at his name.  Then looking hopefully at Harry, for a handshake.  Marking them as friends, as equals, as he hoped it would be.  Harry refusing to take his hand, because he knew the signs of being bullied.  And so he had said no.

That image of him refusing Draco's hand, replaying itself over and over and over again in his mind, until the silence was too much to handle.  He brought his head back to square with his shoulders, and it was as if he could see his eleven year old self.  "I forgive you Harry, for being rude to Draco.  I forgive you for not making a new friend, even when you thought at the time that he was undeserving of your friendship.  I forgive you", he choked out with a sob and fell to his knees.  It would be three days before Harry had the strength to leave again, and make his way back to the school.

When he did indeed wake up, after falling asleep with no shirt and shoes, in front of the mirror, he was confused.  How had he ended up here?  And then it all came flooding back to him.  He was almost home.  Starting his journey, riddled with guilt, that wasn't even his, but now that had made way for love and acceptance.  He smiled at his reflection, nodded his head and went for a scalding hot shower.  He had places to be, people to see, and promises to make.  Better hurry while you're still young, he thought with a smile.  

He was dressed to kill.  In a light blue denim.  A white dress shirt, with the first four buttons open, a black belt, and his black boots.  His silver earring dangling in his left ear.  His hair damp, and yes it was brushed, thank you.  He donned his aftershave on, took one last look at himself and went to breakfast downstairs.  He had sent his baggage to his room at Hogwarts, and after a hearty meal, made his way home.

He was going to take his time, because he needed to be there to record the looks on everyone's faces when they saw him, so that he could look at it again and again.  Sneaky.

He thought of the letter attached to the owl's leg, whistled and said to the owl, "Find Draco.  Give him the letter only when I am inside Hogwarts.  Go", he finished.