The Journey

1. The Letter

"Maybe it's time to let go Potter", said Professor Mcgonagall kindly.

They were both seated in her office.  Earlier that day after returning to Hogwarts, seated in the great hall for lunch, Harry had received a letter by hand.  This meant two things.  He had to open it immediately, and he had to provide an immediate answer.  Which would have been easy except that he wasn't sure what he wanted his answer to be, and he was also in a crowded room.  After opening it, he read it and fell to his knees with a sob.  It was gut wrenching to see the savior in this vulnerable stage, and everyone wondered not only what the contents of the letter were, but more importantly, who had sent it.  

With heavy eyes, brimming with tears, he had looked up at the employee that had delivered the note, and had promptly passed out.  Professors Snape and Mcgonagall had taken him to the hospital wing to recover, told the man who had delivered the letter that he would have an answer by the end of the next day, and had waited patiently for him to wake up so that they could address the situation.  The remaining pupils in the hall had been heard whispering about what had caused his distress, and was sorry at his reaction.  The letter had stayed crumpled in his hand, and so no one had seen it.  Also, no one was brave and/or stupid enough to try and remove it.

After Harry had woken up just after dinner had been served, Madame Pomfrey had called for the two teachers to let them know.  He wasn't feeling particularly hungry and said no to the offer of food, but did down a glass of water.  His throat was parched as if he had been in the desert too long.  Professor Mcgonagall made it very clear that he could only leave the hospital once he felt better and to come and see her immediately.  He agreed.  

Harry had changed after the war.  Well in essence, they all had.  But not only was he even more gentle and kind, he had started looking after himself much better than ever before.  He was muscled and toned, had a bronze look to his skin, from being kissed by the sun.  His hair was slightly longer, although still a shambles.  He wore an earring in his left ear.  It was a deep blue charm of a lightning bolt, surrounded in silver, which dangled every time he moved his head.  There were tattoos on his skin, some a reminder of what he had lost, and some a hopeful message of what was to come.  

He had learned from Hermoine about contact lenses, and wow, what a difference!  Out with the old and in with the new.  Glasses were replaced, his old baggy clothes were no more, and he was a new improved version of his former self.  He was thankful.  The war was over, and he was convinced that his final year at school was going to be plain sailing, and that all he had to worry about were his grades.  But fate, and the wizarding world, had other ideas for Harry Potter.  Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that he was THE most powerful wizard in their world now, was it?

After leaving the hospital wing, he had made his way to the office of his head of house.  She opened after his knock, and gestured for him to enter.  Still with the letter in his hand, they sat down.  She offered him tea and he declined.  They were both silent for what seemed like a lifetime.  She would wait until he spoke, no matter how long it took.  She, along with the rest of their world, owed Harry everything.  Not just a thank you.  Not just a handshake, and most certainly not just a goddam medal.  They owed him everything.  And if part of that was being patient, and waiting for him to speak first, then so be it.

Harry had always worn his heart on his sleeve to those who knew him, and tonight was no different.  He originally thought that he was in trouble for disturbing lunch, and so proceeded to apologize.  "I'm sorry Professor", he said with a hoarse voice.  

"What on earth for Potter?  You have nothing to apologize for", she stated after her question.  He looked at her with a frown.  He had disrupted lunch, and made two teachers, including Madame Pomfrey miss their meals.  "The students of this school come first, and you should know that", she said.  He nodded his thanks and shifted in his seat.

"Would you care to tell me about why you reacted like you did?", she asked, hoping that he would do just that.  He looked down in his hands, and the whole episode came rushing back to him.  He hated being dissected.  He hated being the center of attention, and what had happened in the great hall was making him blush unnecessarily.  He had never asked for this.  The fame, the reverence, the whispers, the stares, nothing.  He had asked for none of it.  

Without a word, he flattened the sheet of paper, and handed it to Professor Mcgonagall.  She smiled at him, adjusted her glasses, and started reading.  After she had finished, she handed it back to him and asked what was his reply.  Harry was seething at the blatant lack of comfort, but knew that he hadn't offered an answer, and had to do so.  

"My answer is no", he said standing up abruptly.  "My answer will always be no Professor", he said.  

"May I ask why?", she asked.

"It's just.......I don't........I.....", he stuttered.  Seeing his discomfort, she had to know what Harry was dealing with.  How could she help him and not know the details?  Being placed in Gryffindor meant that you were brave, and where the hell was her bravery now?  "Potter", she said sternly.

"I just can't........just.......I can't?", he said with fresh tears.  

"Help me understand Potter", came the reply.  Harry knew it was make or break time.  He had to tell someone or he was going to explode.  And how was that going to look, him losing his shit at Hogwarts, when everyone thought him to be the perfect man.  The perfect Gryffindor.  Their perfect bloody hero.  

And so he started talking.  He told her everything, taking time to comfort her when she was sobbing, being angry with her when she was angry, her showing signs of surprise when she was told what was done to him and what he had to endure, because she had never known.  How could she not have known.  Surely Albus would have and he would have told them, so that they could intervene?  What the hell was wrong with their world?  The complete and utter bastards, she thought.

When Harry had finished, she simply stood up and gave him a motherly hug.  She kept holding onto him, and when he finally decided it was ok to break down and cry in front of her, he did.  He was a sobbing mess, and all the while she just held him, rocking him. She soothed him, rubbing his back, telling him it was going to be all right.  She would make sure of it.  Which brings us back to what she said earlier.  "Maybe it's time to let go Potter".

He stiffened at those words, for he knew exactly what they meant.  He had to confront them.  He had to face them and if he was anything but persistent, he knew he would.  He knew what he had to do, but it didn't mean that he had to like it.  It would perhaps hinder his future relationships with people, and why would he want to hurt people who had never hurt him.  He pulled away from the hug, and simply said in a whisper, "Maybe it is".

And so they sat together that night making plans, discussing possibilities and outcomes, deciding what was going to explain his absence, and who was even worthy of one.  Eventually when they had everything in order, they both went their separate ways, and agreed to meet each other in front of the entrance doors in two hours.  Severus Snape would be joining him on the first part of his journey.  

Minerva Mcgonagall was stunned to say the least.  And it takes a hell of a lot to stun her.  She remembered the words on the letter that she had read earlier, and it made her shudder.  What else was going to come to light about Harry Potter.  What had their world done to him ever since he had stepped into it.  Hurt him, used him, preened him, raised him to kill a man, and still his heart strings were in tact.  

She knew that he had one heck of a fight in front of him, but if he walked away a winner, he would be better for it.  That she was sure of, and if anyone deserved to win, it was Potter.